


Homeless Hearts

by aceflowerchild



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Asexual Character, Foster Care, Genderfluid Character, Henry Laurens is an awful dad, John only knows about Martha, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, no one is straight, not a single person, not the other siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-07-11 02:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 31,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7024438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aceflowerchild/pseuds/aceflowerchild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Laurens has been so careful with his love for so long. He's afraid that he might break if he lets someone in.</p><p>Alexander Hamilton has been through a lot in life. All he wants right now is peace. And maybe some coffee.</p><p>Elizabeth Schuyler hasn't had the simplest life. Adding in romance won't make it any less complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> The summary is Awful, but I am tired and it is nearly 2 am. Please, just read about these gay ass nerds.  
> Uh, warnings for misgendering and dead naming (i think that's the right term?), but not intentionally and only briefly. Also, alex and john get to talking about gay rights and such, and ace bandages are improperly used. Also also, Laf and Hercules are kinda disgustingly cute. The title is based on the song Homeless Heart, and it was suggested by weshouldjuststabceaser on tumblr.

John opened the door, laughing at something that Lafayette had said. The two left their bags by the stairs and walked to the kitchen, both stopping when they saw who was sitting at the table with Washington.

“Hercules!” The two shouted at once, going to crush him in a hug, Lafayette pecking him on the cheek as they pulled back.

“What brings you here, Herc?” John asked as he sat in one of the free chairs.

“Laf and I were going to see a movie, and Washingdad was just telling me about-” he was cut off by the doorbell ringing. Washington stood to answer it, leaving the three at the table to crane their necks to see.

There was a brief exchange between the adults, then Washington let the shorter of the two people at the door inside. The person appeared to be a small girl dressed in baggy jeans and an oversized hoodie. She had her arms tightly crossed around her middle, and Washington was carrying her backpack as he told her about the house rules, enrolling in school, and settling in. “So, Mariah, I hope you’ll-”

“My name is _not_ Mariah,” said the girl firmly, anger clear in her eyes. “And I’m not a girl either.”

Washington blinked, then smiled gently and said, “Well, why don’t we sit down and you can tell me about it. The system so often gets things wrong there.”

“Yeah, they thought I was a girl too, no matter how insistently I told them otherwise,” Hercules said from his place at the table.

“And for some reason,” Lafayette said, “They insist that I am a boy, but I simply am so magnificent that the gender binary cannot contain me.” John laughed and pushed their shoulder.

“Come on, you guys are probably intimidating the poor kid.”

Said kid looked around at everyone in the room before precariously seating themself at the table.

“Why don’t we start with your gender? You said that you aren’t a girl, so that is one thing we can rule out,” Washington started.

“I’m a guy,” the new person began. “He/him pronouns and everything. Although, they is okay too.”

“But no she,” John cut in. The boy shook his head. “Alright then. What about name? What’s your name, man?”

“My name is Alexander Hamilton. Or Alex for short.” Alexander grinned before turning serious again. “And if one of you calls me Mariah, I will not hesitate to fight you.”

John kept back a smile as Washington answered, “Noted.”

“But, we do have a friend at school named Maria, so if you hear that name, it is not one of us using the wrong name for you, we promise,” Lafayette told Alex. Alex nodded to them in acknowledgement.

“While we are on the subject of names, what are all of yours?” he asked the table.

“I am John Laurens, at your service,” John said, holding out his hand to shake, and being delighted when Alexander shook it.

“Hercules Mulligan, local tailor- in-training.”

“And I am Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette.”

Alex let out a low whistle. “That is quite a name you’ve got there my friend.”

“Yes, but I do prefer Lafayette, or Gilbert only if we are joking around.” Lafayette fixed Alex with a firm gaze.

“I will be sure to keep that in mind.” He then turned to George. “Sir, may I go put my things away?”

“Of course. Let me show you to your room.” As George led Alexander upstairs, the three at the table heard him talking about how Alex could change the room how he wanted, as long as he didn’t destroy anything. John snickered and turned to Hercules.

 “Is Martha here?”

 

“No, I think Washington said she had a doctor’s appointment. Don’t know when she’ll be back,” Hercules answered.

 

Lafayette stood and sat back down on Hercules’ lap, grabbing his collar and pulling him in for a kiss. “How was your day, mon chou?”

Hercules smiled gently up at them. “It was good love. And yours?”

“It was wonderful, although I missed you terribly.”

John faked a gagging noise and exclaimed loudly, “Ugh, do you guys have to do that while I’m right here?”

Laf grinned at him, stuck out their tongue, and gave Hercules a quick peck on the cheek.

“Seriously Laf, why do you do this to me? Let’s go get changed so you guys can go on your movie date and be disgustingly cute somewhere else.” John stood and went to the stairs without waiting to see if Laf was following. He picked up his bag on the way up and dropped it onto his bed, loosening his tie so he could take it off.

“I don’t understand why we can’t just wear normal fucking clothes, but no, stupid private school’s gotta ‘keep up its reputation’…” John muttered to himself. He turned around sharply when he heard someone snickering behind him, who turned out to be Alex.

“Jesus Christ,” John said breathlessly.

“No, I don’t quite think so,” Alex joked. “But I did not mean to startle you.”

“It’s fine, you’re good dude. What brings you to my humble quarters?”

“Oh! Right, right, um. I just- I need to- Where’s the bathroom?” Alexander asked, getting redder and quieter as he spoke.

John smiled and walked toward Alex and led him down the hall. “Just remember that it’s right next to the bookshelf and you’ll be good. And hey,” John grabbed Alex’s shoulder before he could disappear into the bathroom. “I’ll be here if you have any other questions, yeah?”

John could see Alexander swallow before he answered. “O-of course.” John smiled as he let him go and headed back to his own room to finish changing. Once he did, he knocked on the door of the previously empty room that he knew was now Alex’s. A second later, the door opened to reveal Alexander, who John only then noticed was nearly a whole head shorter than he was.

“Hey! I know we just saw each other not even like, five minutes ago, but hey. Do you wanna hang out? It’s fine if you don’t, seeing as you just got here and all, but I figured I’d be hospitable and offer,” John said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“You’re lonely aren’t you?” Alex said, more as a statement than a question.

“Well, I wouldn’t say lonely, exactly, but Lafayette and Hercules are the main people I hang out with and they’re on a date and I hate third wheeling with them, they get so mushy. And then I figured that since we’re gonna be living together, I might as well get to know you, so, do you wanna hang out?” Alex had to step back to avoid being hit with John’s hands as he moved them around while he talked.

“Sure. Where at?” Alex stepped out of his room, clearly indicating that that was not an option. John could respect that.

“How about the living room? We could watch TV or I could tell you about school or something,” John offered.

“Why don’t you tell me about your friends? Unless Lafayette and Hercules are the only two you have,” Alex said as the two made their way downstairs.

John put a hand to his chest in mock offense. “I am hurt. Of course I have other friends. There’s the Schuylers and Maria Reynolds, and… I wouldn’t really count Aaron Burr as a friend. An acquaintance, maybe. Then there’s Martha Manning and… that’s about it.” John paused to count it out on his hands. “Five whole friends outside of this house.”

Alex rolled his eyes as they sat on the couch.

“The Schuylers live pretty close to here, actually, so if you want to meet them today, I can ask if we can go over-”

“I would rather wait to meet them, if that’s alright,” Alex interrupted.

“Sure. It’s probably kind of overwhelming being in a new house with a new family and all,” John said.

“It loses much of the intimidation after about three, actually,” Alex said.

“Huh. So you’re a veteran are you?”

“Not really. This is my second home in the system, but I’ve been tossed around from relative to relative since my mom…” Alexander coughed and looked away. “I would rather not talk about it.”

John made a noise of assent. He knew that parents could be a tricky subject, especially when you were in the system. Whether it was dead parents, shitty parents, or just simply missing your parents, it wasn’t always easy to talk about.

“Uh, how old are you?” John asked, changing the subject.

“I am 16. What about you? And the others?”

“15. Laf is almost 16, Hercules is 17, and if you want all of the others, you’ll have to ask.”

Alexander’s face looked thoughtful for a moment. “What about the Schuylers? I’d also like their first names.”

“How do you know Schuyler isn’t their first name, huh? What if they’re three people all with the same first name? Have you never seen Heathers?” John asked.

“I had figured they were siblings,” Alexander explained. “And no, I have not.”

“What? Never? Oh, and they are siblings, I was just fucking with you. But we need to watch it when the lovebirds get back. And as for the names and ages, Peggy is 14, Eliza is 15, and Angelica is 17. They’re all so wonderful, although they’d probably kill you if they thought you deserved it,” John saw the look of horror on Alex’s face and rushed to add, “Don’t worry though, I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“Well that’s certainly a relief. And Martha and Maria?”

“They are 16 and 17 respectively. Any other questions?” John prompted. Alex bit his lip and looked to the side. John took the opportunity to examine Alex’s face closely. He had a round jaw and a bit of a hooked nose and dark eyes, which were currently screwed up in thought. His eyes had dark bags underneath of them and the left one looked a bit swelled, as if he had a black eye that was just now healing. Overall, he had an attractive face. ‘John, stop it. You are not allowed to be gay with him. Besides the fact that you literally just met, you don’t even know if he likes guys. Pay attention.’

“I’d like to hear more about this Aaron Burr you mentioned.”

“Oh. Him. I mean, he’s okay, he’s not a bad guy, it’s just, you can never get a straight answer out of him. He keeps everything to himself and it’s kinda frustrating. Especially when all you want to know is if you should try the mashed potatoes or not. Short answer; you shouldn’t. You should absolutely not eat the school’s mashed potatoes. It may be a private school, but it has public school potatoes.”

John could tell that Alexander was holding back laughter as he said, “You sure are passionate.”

“Damn right I am! Quick question, what are your views on the gay community?”

“Well, I don’t have a problem with gay people as a whole, especially since I fall under that umbrella term as a bisexual, but it varies. For instance, if a gay person were to insinuate that I should not have rights because I am transgender, fuck that particular person. And of course, we should have rights just like straight people have rights. If I were to wish to marry a man, why should that be denied to me? I am doing no harm, and if gays go to Hell as bigoted Christians would insinuate, then that does not affect them in the slightest.” John listened in agreement.

“Exactly! And the underrepresentation in the media! Not only is it like watching jars of mayonnaise interact whenever I turn on the TV, but everything is overflowing with hetero nonsense! And they promote awful relationships as what everyone should aspire to be! ‘Haha, I don’t want to go home to my bitchy wife’ then _why the fuck did you marry her_?” John took a deep breath and calmed himself.

“Let’s just play some mind numbing video games before there is yelling,” John suggested.

“Sure. But we have to talk more about this, because I think there is much that we’d agree on,” Alex said.

“Alright. For now though, wanna play Sims?”

“Hell yes!”

* * *

 

That evening found six people crowded around the kitchen table, all talking loudly and laughing over Martha’s lasagna.

Alex and John cleaned up the dishes, despite Martha and George insisting that they would do it. The two boys heard Lafayette’s farewell to Hercules as they cleaned.

“Text me when you get home.”

“I will, Laf.”

“And make sure you take off your binder too. We don’t want a repeat of last May.”

“I know.”

“And-”

“And I’ll keep my inhaler close by, I will go to bed before midnight, I will not stay up all night working on any miscellaneous projects, I’ll drive safely, and I will lock my doors. Don’t worry so much Laf. I’ll be fine. I love you.”

John looked over to Alex as he handed John a plate to dry and saw that the shorter boy had a small smile on his face.

“What’s so funny?” John asked him.

“Hm? It’s just that they’re so cute. I can see what you meant earlier about them getting all mushy. So are they always like this?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” John said.

“Why does Laf worry so much? Hercules is older than them, he should be able to take care of himself.”

“Yeah, you’d think that, and yet, last May, well, irresponsible binding led Herc to be in the hospital for a bit. He was working on a project for his design class and kind of ignored his own health, so his ribs are now fucked, _and_ he’s got asthma. It doesn’t help that he was using ace bandages when he first came here. And then he goes and acts like _we’re_ the ones who can’t take care of ourselves.” John rolled his eyes as he put up the last plate and set the towel he was using on the edge of the sink.

“While we are on the topic of binding, do you have a binder? And if so, are you using it responsibly?” John asked, looking at Alex.

“Uh, no to the binder, and also to the…” Alex said the last part so quietly that John couldn’t hear, but what he _had_ heard made him stop Alexander in the hallway.

“Is there something you’d like to say?” John said in his best mom voice.

“Not particularly…” Alex avoided John’s eyes.

“Are you binding with ace bandages?” Alex’s gaze remained resolutely on the floor. “Alexander Hamilton, are there currently ace bandages around your chest?” Alex’s silence told John all he needed to know. He sighed. “Come on.”

“What? Where?”

“You’re taking them off, right now,” John said as firmly as he could. He stopped in the upstairs bathroom and turned on the light. “Shirt off.”

“Jeez John, at least buy me dinner first,” Alex joked.

“Alexander this is no time for jokes. If you don’t take them off, I will, and I think it’d be more comfortable for everyone if you were the one to do that.” John stepped back to give Alex some space. “And I know I’m not in your position, but your wellbeing is more important than this. And if it’s any help, try to remember that you are a man because you say you are, not because of your body.” John stepped the rest of the way out of the bathroom. “Please, just take them off. We can ask Washingdad to get you a binder, but don’t fuck up your ribs like this in the meantime.” He closed the door, not giving Alex room to comment.

John heard a sigh from within the bathroom and the rustling of clothes. After a minute, a hand appeared holding the bandages out. John took them and rolled them up so that they would fit into his pocket. Alex stepped out, arms crossed tightly over his chest.

“Look, it’s the manliest man in the house,” John said, lightly punching Alexander’s shoulder. “Come on, to bed with you.”

Alex groaned as he trudged to his room. “I have only known you for a day and you are already _insufferable_.”

“It’s one of my many talents. Goodnight Alex. Sleep well.” John waited until he heard Alex’s door close to close his own and flop onto his bed, falling asleep faster than he had in a while.


	2. Little Lion Man

Several nights later, when John got up to use the bathroom, he heard a snuffling noise coming from one of the rooms. He pressed his ear to Lafayette’s door but heard nothing before remembering that they were at their actual home. He ruled out the Washingtons’ room and went to Alex’s. He knocked gently and the noise stopped. John knocked again, hoping to get some sort of answer. Just as he was about to knock a third time, the door opened.

“Oh. Hello John,” Alex said, voice scratchy, and rubbing at his eyes.

“Hey Alex. Is everything okay?” John peered down at Alex, who was still scrubbing his face.

Alex sniffled before answering. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine, everything’s fine. It’s fine. Do you want to… come in?” Alexander finally looked up at John as he asked.

“Sure,” John said. Alex stepped back to let John in and closed the door behind him. The room was illuminated by only the small desk lamp, not giving off enough light for John to make out Alexander’s face clearly. Alex sat down on the bed and John sat in the chair at his desk. Alex was looking down at his feet and kicking at the carpet.

After a few moments that were filled with an uncomfortable silence, John decided to start talking. “Are you sure that you’re okay, Alex? You seem-”

“I am _fine_ ,” Alex snapped, cutting John off.

John went on the defensive then. “I’m _trying_ to help, but I can’t do that if you’re just going to sit there and not tell me anything!”

“I don’t _need_ to tell you anything John! I barely know you!” John looked down at his hands, balled into fists on his lap. He slowly uncurled his fingers and looked back up.

“That was uncalled for,” Alex said quietly. “I just don’t understand why you care so much.”

John shrugged. “I’ve lived here since I was 11. I was one of the first foster kids the Washingtons had. The only one who’s been here longer than me is Lafayette, and they don’t even live here full time.”

“Do you know why they’re in foster care?” Alex asked.

“I do, but it isn’t my story to tell.”

“Of course.” Alex fiddled with his hands before looking at John. “If you don’t mind, why are you here?”

John had expected this; Alexander was a curious person. He smiled tightly and answered, “That’s really a conversation I’d rather save for later.”

Alex nodded. “I understand.” John looked at the clock and stood to leave. “Are you going already?”

“Yeah, I figured I’d head back to bed. I don’t even really remember why I got up in the first place,” John laughed.

“Wait, John, can we talk for a bit? I just… I don’t want to be alone right now.” John checked the time again.

“Alexander, it’s almost one in the morning…” John said, though he made no further attempt to leave. “And we have school tomorrow. It’s gonna be your first day, we can’t have you being tired on your first day.”

“John, if you know me at all, you know that I am always tired,” Alex said in a deadpan voice. “Please?”

John rolled his eyes and gave in, sitting back down in the desk chair. “Fine. What do you wanna talk about?”

“Do you speak any other languages?” Alex asked. So he wanted to know more about John.

“Yeah. Spanish and English are kind of tied for my first language, since my mom’s from Puerto Rico and Henry is… very white. And I’m also learning French, both from Lafayette and in school. How about you, short stack?”

Alexander ignored the nickname and stated, “I speak a few languages. French, Spanish, and Haitian Creole, mainly, although I am learning Italian as well.”

“Fancy,” John said, then mimed holding a microphone and held it in front of Alex. “Would you consider yourself a polyglot, Mr. Hamilton?”

Alexander let out a laugh and joined in. “Why yes, Mr. Laurens, I would.” They both kept a straight face for a few seconds before dissolving into a fit of giggles.

“Oh man, I can’t wait for you to meet everyone, they are gonna _love_ you. And by everyone, I mean my five whole friends. Pretty much everyone else is terrible.”

“I’m sure that there are more than eight people at your school that are okay,” Alex said.

“You’d be surprised,” John told him, adopting a more serious tone.

“Fine. I’ll simply have to take your word for it. For now,” Alex conceded.

John shook his head as Alexander stifled a yawn. “Getting sleepy are we?”

“You wish, Laurens.” The sentence was punctuated with another yawn. “Okay, perhaps a little bit.”

“Ha! So the little lion man _is_ human,” John teased.

“Little lion man?” Alex asked. “Isn’t that a song?”

John shrugged. “Yeah, but it’s also your nickname. You’re kinda feisty, like a lion, but Laf’s the one who started it,” he explained.

“I really don’t understand you guys sometimes,” Alex said, shaking his head and yawning again.

“Seriously though, we should probably both go to bed now,” John said, stifling his own yawn as he stood.

He stopped when he heard Alex say from behind him in a small voice, “Wait.” John turned back to face him with his eyebrows raised. “Will you sleep in here tonight?”

John smiled gently and said, “Sure. Just let me get my turtle real quick, and I’ll be right back.” John waited for Alex to nod his approval before going back to his room to grab the plushie.

“What’s your turtle’s name?” Alex asked as John re-entered the room and closed the door quietly behind him.

John got under the covers that Alex held up for him before he answered. “His name is Samson. My mom gave him to me when I was young, because of my love for turtles. And it’s also a kind of ‘fuck you’ to Henry, since he thought it was stupid that I still had it.” John turned onto his stomach and looked at Alexander. “How about you, Ham Man? Any important stuffed animals in your life?”

Alex stuck out his lip in thought. He turned over and grabbed something, pulling it from the side of his bed. “No stuffed animals, but I do have this blanket that my mother gave to me when I was very little.” The blanket was small, and clearly handmade, with several different colors of once bright yarn that had faded over the years.

John smiled and closed his eyes, yawning. “Come on, little lion man, go to sleep.”

* * *

Alexander’s alarm went off at 5 am the next morning. John sat up and stretched his arms above his head. Meanwhile, Alex had turned off the shrill noise and was gathering his things to get ready.

John cleared his throat before asking, “Yo, Alex, not to be rude or whatever, but why the shit is your alarm set before the ass crack of dawn?”

Alex looked over to the bed and smiled fondly at John’s dishevelment and disorientation. “I wanted to get up early enough to go with Mr. Washington and check out the school before too many people got there. I thought that it’d be easier than waiting until school had started.”

John nodded, and Alexander could tell that he was still trying to process everything. John flopped back down onto Alex’s bed and held Samson, but then sat up once more and walked to his room, ruffling Alexander’s hair on the way out.

Nearly 20 minutes after that, Alexander, John, and Washington were on their way to the school. Alex was looking out of the window of the passenger seat and bouncing excitedly while John was falling asleep in the back. By the time they had parked, he was snoring. Alex woke John by shaking his shoulder and he stepped out of the car, wiping drool off of his face.

George and Alex hurried to the entrance, while John trudged along behind them. Once he got inside, he sat down on the floor. Alexander stood in front of him, trying to pull him up to walk around.

“John, come on, I wanna see the school!”

“You can do that on your own though.”

“But I’ll get lost.”

“Then ask George.”

“He’s got work to do!”

John let out a whine and turned his head away. Alex sighed in exasperation.

“Johnathan, get up,” he said firmly, standing with hands on his hips. John looked back at him and raised an eyebrow.

“That’s not even my name. It’s just John.”

“Well, ‘just John,’ will you please get up and show me around the school before everyone else starts getting here?”

John let out a sigh and stood, walking towards the staircase and motioning for Alex to follow him. John showed him the main things, like the library, the gym, cafeteria, main office, and which hallways had which classes. By the time they had finished walking around, the first few students had started coming in and were standing in the halls, talking to friends.

Alex watched John as he stood on his tip toes and craned his neck, looking for someone. He grinned when he saw a few people walk through the doors at the front.

John cupped his hands over his mouth and shouted, “Eliza! Angie! Peggy!” The three who had just walked in looked over and saw John waving his arms around, with Alexander standing next to him, thinking that he looked ridiculous.

“Hey John!” said the one with the straight black hair. “What’s up?”

John smiled at them and answered, “Nothin’ much Eliza.”

“What’re you doing here so early, you’re usually only here in time for the first bell,” Eliza asked.

“Washingdad drove us.”

The one with the bob cut spoke next. “Us? Isn’t Laf at their house?”

Alexander stepped forward from his spot next to John and waved. “Hi.”

“Who’s this?” Eliza asked.

Alex stuck out his hand. “Alexander Hamilton.”

Eliza took it with a smile and said, “Elizabeth Schuyler. But you can just call me Eliza. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

The one who hadn’t yet spoken stepped forward next. “Angelica Schuyler, she/her,” she said, with a voice that was deeper than Alex had expected, though not unpleasant.

“And I’m Peggy!” said the last one – the one with the short hair – holding out a hand for a fist bump rather than a handshake. Alex happily obliged.

He looked at the three of them and asked, “What are all of your pronouns?” directing the question at Eliza and Peggy

“They/them!” Peggy called out first, raising a hand in the air.

“She/her,” Eliza said next, much more calmly than Peggy had, though she had a look of reluctance on her face. A second later, the look was gone and Alex wondered if he had imagined it.

“What about yours?” Angelica asked, leaning against the banister of the stairs.

“Oh, he/him. They/them is okay too, but I like he/him best.” Angelica smiled at him and Alex let out a breath in relief as if he had passed a test he hadn’t known about. Angelica pushed herself off of the railing and started walking forward, with a bit of a limp to her step. The others all started moving, so Alex followed, matching his stride to John’s.

“Angelica,” he said, curious. She turned around to face him without stopping, eyebrows raised, expectant. “Is something wrong with your leg?”

The air around the group suddenly felt tense, and Alex, too late, realized that it might not have been an appropriate question to ask. Then Angelica smiled at him, still walking backwards, and everyone seemed to relax.

“Yeah. It’s not there.” She walked to the side of the hall and lifted up her right pants leg, revealing a prosthetic leg.

“Oh. Okay then,” Alex said, not knowing how else to react.

Angelica dropped her pants leg and started forward again. After a few more steps, Alex leaned over to John and whispered, “Where are we going?”

John shrugged and told Alex, “Probably Washington’s room. That’s where most of us have first.”

“Oh.” Alex searched his pockets for his schedule, and found it a moment later in the side pocket of his old backpack. He looked over it and found his first period; English with someone named Frederick. John peered over his shoulder and made a face.

“Oh, man, you got Mr. Frederick? He sucks!” John exclaimed.

“What? How do you mean?” Alex asked, brow furrowed.

“Where do I even start? Besides the fact that he can’t teach, he’s really pissy half the time for no reason, he’s threatened to kill a student, and the only reason the school keeps him here is because he’s really rich and is responsible for a big chunk of its funding,” John said, listing the things off on his fingers.

Alexander stared at him with wide eyes. “He threatened to _kill_ a student? Should he not have gotten arrested?”

“Yeah. There was this big investigation, but in the end, he just gave them a huge bribe and the whole thing was dropped.” John clapped Alex on the shoulder and looked him in the eye before saying, “Good luck man.” He turned back to face forward. “You’re lucky that it’s almost May and we don’t have much of the year left.”

“Didn’t he try to seduce Mr. Washington last year?” Eliza asked.

Alex was so surprised that he had to laugh. “What?”

“Yeah, he was like, buying him really expensive gifts and flirting super badly with him, it was kind of sad, honestly,” Eliza told him. “And he didn’t even stop when Washington told him he was married. Frederick just said, ‘You’re wife doesn’t need to know’ and a bunch of other weird stuff. And isn’t Washington ace?” Eliza directed her question at John, who was very badly trying to keep a straight face.

John nodded at Eliza, who nodded back at the confirmation.

“Oh man, do guys remember when John first got his braces? Do you remember how bad his lisp was?” Peggy said suddenly.

“Oh yeah! That was probably the funniest day of my life! Besides when Peggy got their wisdom teeth out. Now _that_ was some funny shit right there,” Angelica said as she turned into a classroom that Alexander assumed was Washington’s.

“Hey, it’s these nerds!” Cried a voice, and suddenly, someone with a face almost as freckled as John’s was giving John a noogie.

“Ack! Martha! Do you have to do this every day?” John cried as he struggled to escape from Martha’s grasp.

“Uh huh!” Martha said cheerfully, stopping the noogie upon seeing Alex. “Who’s the new kid?”

Alex held out his hand and said, “Alexander Hamilton, pronouns he/him.”

Martha smiled and took his hand. “Martha Manning, she/her. Nice to meet you, finally. Jonny boy here’s been talking about you nonstop since last week!”

John turned away, face red, as he said, “Have not.”

“You kind of have been, John,” Eliza said, hiding a small smile behind her hand.

John let out a ragged sigh, and said, “I’m being bullied. Washingdad!” George looked up from his papers. “They’re bullying me.” Washington rolled his eyes and directed his attention back to his work.

The first bell rang a moment later, and Alexander started walking out, before he realized that he had no idea where he was going. He turned back to the group and asked, “Where is Mr. Frederick’s class?”

“It’s in the next hall to the right, room 126. Good luck!” Eliza called. Alexander thanked her and ran over to the hall, getting through the door just before the bell rang. He sighed in relief that he wasn’t late.

“And you are..?” a voice asked, making Alex jump.

He handed the man who he assumed was Mr. Frederick his schedule as he said, “I’m Alexander Hamilton.”

Frederick looked over the schedule and thrust it back to Alex with a hint of disgust on his face. He turned to the class and gestured loosely at Alexander as he spoke. “It seems that we have a new student here. Alexander Hamilton. Sit by Seabury.”

Alex rushed to the seat indicated, next to a blond boy. He extended his hand and introduced himself. “Hi, I’m Alexa-”

“I don’t really care,” The boy cut him off and Alex slumped back in his seat, biting his tongue. He was determined not to start a fight on his first day, but judging by how the first five minutes were going, he wasn’t sure if he could manage that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm gonna make another book in this series with a bunch of information on this AU and the characters and whatnot, if y'all want (pls let me know if you guys want it, I am not very motivated on my own)


	3. Eliza!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you read the first two chapters before this one was a thing, I made a small change, so Alex is now 16 instead of 15. If not, then you should not be confused. Either way, I hope you enjoy!

Eliza sat at the usual table and waited for the others. Alexander was the first one that she saw, looking around, and Eliza thought he seemed lost, so she stood and yelled out, “Alexander!” He looked over at the yell (along with several other people) and seemed to relax as he rushed over to her.

“Hey,” he said, sitting down across from her.

“Hi! How’s your first day going so far?” Eliza asked. Alex sighed and made a disgusted face.

“Where do I even begin? I mean, Frederick was _horrible_ , he just droned on about his dog for 30 minutes. It might’ve gone on longer, but eventually I just tuned him out. And he sat me next to this awful little shit named Seabury, who pretty much worships the ground he walks on. Not to men-”

“Wait,” Eliza said, cutting Alexander off. “Sorry, but, Seabury? He’s a freshman, and Frederick only teaches English, how are you guys in the same class?”

Alex looked down at the table and mumbled, “I’m a freshman.”

“How old are you?” Eliza asked next, confused. She had thought that Alex was the same age as her.

“16. And before you ask, no, I did not fail. I just got pushed back a grade when I moved from St. Croix. Apparently, I am stupid because I’m from another country. I’m _not_ stupid,” Alex told Eliza angrily.

She kept him from continuing by asking another question “Where’s St. Croix?”

Alex paused and his eyes grew wide. “I… I did not mean to say that. Uh… It’s where I grew up. In the Caribbean. But please, don’t tell the others, this was not information that I had planned to divulge so soon-”

Eliza put her hands over Alexander’s and he stopped, looking at her expectantly.

“It’s fine Alexander,” she said soothingly. “I won’t tell anyone unless you want me to. Here,” she said, and Alex cocked his head to the side, “I’ll give you my number- do you have a phone?” Alex shook his head. “Computer?” He nodded this time. “Alright. I’ll give you my email then. And then we can talk more later, if you like.”

“That would be wonderful,” Alex told Eliza as they exchanged emails.

John walked up as they were putting the pieces of paper away. “Hey, what are my two favorite nerds up to today?”

“I thought _we_ were your favorite nerds,” Lafayette said from behind John.

“Nah, we’re his favorite gays. Even though we’re not technically gay,” Hercules said, sitting next to Alex and ruffling his hair, causing the boy to smile.

“Umbrella terms,” Eliza said. “But wait, I thought Maria and Angie were your favorite gays.” She laughed as Laf sulked next to Hercules.

“No, no, you’ve got it all wrong,” John told them. “Eliza and Alex are my favorite nerds. Laf and Herc are my favorite gays and Angie and Maria are my favorite lady gays.”

“What about Martha and… I forgot their name. Your other sibling?” Alex asked, looking at Eliza.

“Their name’s Peggy,” Eliza answered, smiling at Alex.

“Right, Peggy. What about those two?”

“ _They_ are my favorite aros,” John said.

“Arrows?” Alex asked.

“Yeah. Not like the kind you shoot though. It’s short for aromantic, just like ace is short for asexual. Peggy is aro, ace, and agender. Like a triple A battery. Martha’s aro and pansexual,” John explained. “But seriously,” he changed the subject and Eliza rolled her eyes fondly. “What’s up? You guys got me distracted.”

Eliza took over, seeing the relief in Alexander’s posture as she did. “We were just talking about how Alex’s day was going and… he got a bit heated when talking about Frederick. I was calming him down.” Eliza winked across the table at Alex as the others laughed, and he grinned back at her.

* * *

 

Everyone was still laughing when Alex saw Angelica walking up to the table, holding hands with another person, who had long hair and red lips.

“Hey guys,” Angelica said as she reached the table. “What’re you all laughing about?”

“Just Alex and how much he _loves_ Frederick,” John said, smile still stretched wide across his face. “Well, come on now, don’t just stand there like strangers. Sit down!”

Angelica rolled her eyes and she and the other person sat.

“Is this that kid you’ve been talking about all week John?” the other person asked, pointing to Alex.

John groaned before speaking. “I have _not_ been talking about him all week! You guys are awful!”

“So the answer to that question is yes then.” The person turned to face Alex and held out a hand. “Maria Reynolds, she/her.”

Alexander took her hand, which was soft and warm, and replied, “Alexander Hamilton, or just Alex if you want. He/him.”

Maria smiled and let go. “Well met, Alex.” She turned back to face the table as conversation resumed. Alex stared at her for a moment before he began to zone in and out of the conversation, catching every third or fourth word while looking for patterns in the grain of the fake wood on the table.

He was startled out of his reverie by someone tapping his hands.

“Hello? Earth to Alexander. We’d like you to come back now.” Alex focused on the face in front of him. It was Eliza.

He stared at her for a few moments, trying to find his voice. When he did, all he said was, “Huh?” So much for being an intelligent human being.

Eliza giggled and said, “Come on, the line’s shortened. We’re getting our lunch now.”

“Oh. I’m not really hungry though,” Alex told her.

Eliza gave him a stern look. “I don’t care, you’re still going to eat. You need food to function properly.”

“Not true. I once went three days when I was 14 without eating anything, and I still did my job perfectly. Then again, it was not my decision, but I still did it,” Alex told Eliza matter of factly.

“That’s not usually something that people brag about… And besides, it’s your decision now, and if you don’t decide on food, then I am dragging you to the line by your ear,” Eliza threatened.

Alexander held up his hands in surrender and stood up to follow Eliza to the line.

“What is there to eat?” Alex asked her as they walked to the line.

“It’s sandwich day, so there should be hamburgers, chicken sandwiches, and pb and j. Then there’s different options for fruit and vegetables every day, and we have juice pouches,” Eliza told him.

Alex decided to just get a peanut butter and jelly and some peach slices to keep Eliza or any of the others from getting on his back about food. By the time the lunch period was over, he had taken two bites of the sandwich and eaten three peach slices.

“You barely ate anything are you okay?” John asked, looking at Alex’s tray.

“John, I’m fine. I just wasn’t hungry, I will probably eat something when we get home.”

John gave Alex a long, suspicious look and said, “Alright. I’ll make sure that you do.”

“Yeah, whatever, just tell me where I go next,” Alex said.

“So demanding. Give me your schedule.” Alex handed John his schedule as asked, and waited while John looked over it. “You’ve got Washington next, and after that, go back to the hall that Frederick’s in, but go to room 131, okay? Ooh, and we’ve got Geometry together tomorrow for third, so I’ll show you were that is.”

“Alright, thank you,” Alexander said, taking back his schedule.

“Also, what’s up with your classes? You’ve got 9th grade English, but World History II, which is generally a sophomore class. What’s up with that?” John asked.

Alex sighed before answering. “On paper, I am a freshman, but I‘m really not supposed to be. But since I moved so much, they pushed me back a grade. I’ll explain it more later, but I must go now, okay?”

“Fine.” John ruffled Alex’s hair and sent him on his way.

* * *

 

When John and Alexander got home, John dragged Alex to the kitchen to make him eat something.

“What food do we even have?” Alex asked. John went through their pantry, aware of Alex’s eyes on him.

“Pasta. Ramen. There’s some peanut butter. Ooh, mac n’ cheese.” John continued listing off foods that he found until Alex stopped him.

“Alright, let’s make some pasta. Swirly noodles,” Alex told John.

John turned around, holding the box above his head and yelling, “Swirly noodles!”

A few moments later, Martha poked her head into the kitchen with a puzzled look on her face. “Oh, you boys are home. Why are you yelling?”

John slowly lowered both the box and his head. “Sorry Martha.”

“It’s fine, I’m not mad. Try not to get full though, George is bringing home food tonight. Oh, and Alex, there’s a package for you on the table,” Martha said, pointing to the package in question before going back upstairs.

John watched Alex pick up the box, excitement growing. “Open it,” he said.

Alex looked back at him and went to grab a knife to open it up. As he did, John started bouncing, sure that he knew what was inside of the box. Sure enough, when Alex lifted up, John saw the binder, wrapped in plastic.

“Wh- oh! Oh shit, is it-” Alex looked at John again, and John nodded vigorously. “Should I- I’m going to try it on.”

John watched as Alex rushed to the bathroom and grinned when he heard a, “It fits!” from behind the door. Alex rushed back into the kitchen with a huge smile lighting up his face. “John, it fits,” he said breathlessly.

“I see that,” John said happily.

Alex bounced up and down, flapping his arms.

John watched for a few moments before saying, “I know you’re happy, but remember to bind responsibly, and drink plenty of water-”

Alex fluttered his hands towards John and said, “Shh, I know, I know, no more than 8 hours a day, stay hydrated, stretch regularly, I _know_ John.”

“Okay, just making sure, because you seem to have a penchant for not taking care of yourself. Now, we were going to make pasta,” John said, walking over to the cabinets and getting out a pot to fill with water.

John pushed Alex out of the kitchen so that it could be a surprise when it was finished. When John called him back in, he set the plate in front of him with a flourish, and watched Alexander’s reaction.

Alex picked up the fork and poked a noodle before stabbing it and eating it, chewing slowly.

“John. What is this?” Alex asked after a moment.

John bit his lip and asked, “Do you not… like it?”

Alex’s eyes widened as he said, “No! No, it is great, I love it, but what is in this sauce? It’s really tangy.”

John sighed in relief. “Oh. It’s really simple. Just barbeque sauce, mustard, and sugar.”

“Wow.” Alex took another bite of the noodles. “This is really, really good. Oh! Ooh, ooh, ooh!”

“What?” John asked, confused.

“We never did watch Heathers!”

“Oh shit, you’re right! We can watch it right now if you want? And can we invite Eliza over? It’s one of her favorite movies.”

“Yeah! Go ahead, it’ll be fun,” Alex told John encouragingly.

“’Kay. I’m gonna go call her. Be right back,” John said. He went to his bag and grabbed his phone, walking onto the front porch to call Eliza.

The phone rang three times before it picked up.

 _“Hey John, what’s up?”_ came Eliza’s voice from the other end.

“Hey Betsey! Alex and I were just about to watch Heathers, he’s never seen it before, and I know you love it, so you wanna come over?”

 _“Yeah, sure, just let me ask dad.”_ There was silence on Eliza’s end of the phone for a few minutes before Eliza came back. _“He said it was okay, I’ll be there in 10, yeah?”_

John nodded before remembering that Eliza couldn’t see him. “Yeah. See you then!” He hung up and went back inside, finding Alex at the sink, washing his plate.

Alexander looked up when John stepped in and asked, “So?”

“She’ll be here in about 10 minutes. Maybe longer if she’s walking especially slow,” John said. “I’m gonna go change into clothes that aren’t the school uniform.” John bounded up the stairs, taking them two at a time as he usually did and walking to his room with a spring in his step. It had been an especially good day.

When John got back downstairs, the doorbell rang. He opened it to reveal Eliza, wearing an old shirt she had borrowed from him and never given back and some old, ripped up jeans.

“Heyo, hope I’m not late!” she said, stepping inside. John closed the door behind her.

“Nope! You’re early, actually,” John said, slinging his arm around her shoulders.

“Well good.” As soon as she finished speaking, Alex ran down the stairs.

“Alright,” John said. “We’ve got everyone here, let’s get this party started!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, I forgot that i had martha saying that they were going out to eat that night and I AM ASHAMED so i fixed it, it should makes sense now


	4. Sleepover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are mentions of death and abuse in this chapter, both in the first part, and I believe that's it, but let me know if you need any warnings for anything else

When the movie ended, the other two turned to look at Alex with expectant looks on their faces. When Alex didn’t say anything, Eliza prompted, “So? What’d you think? Other than ‘What the fuck JD’ as I heard you mutter several times.”

“Well,” Alex began slowly. “I liked it. I really did. Of course there were some parts- well, no, _many_ parts- that I just don’t know what to say about, but I enjoyed the movie.”

John and Eliza nodded to each other and then back at Alex. “Yeah, pretty solid statement,” John said. He then turned to face Alex fully, resting his arms on Eliza’s shoulders, and said, “Yo, can you explain more about your schedule, because I’m still confused.”

Alexander puffed out his cheeks and sighed. “It’s a long story…” he warned.

“I’ve got time. What about you Eliza?” John turned towards her as he asked the question.

Eliza shrugged. “Sure. And I could ask if I can spend the night.”

“Nice.” John turned back to Alex. “We’ve got time.”

“I mean. It’s kind of a sob story too,” Alex said, trying to dissuade him.

“Then we’ll swap. I’ve got a sob story of my own,” John said.

Alex sighed in defeat, realizing that he was not going to discourage John. “Alright then. I am 16 years old, and – on paper – a freshman. This is not because I failed, but because the American school system is fucked up and stupid. How, you may ask? Well, when I moved here from St. Croix, it decided that I belonged a year behind, because hey, some kid from the Caribbean _can’t_ be smarter than these American children, right?

“Anyway, when I was 15, and supposed to be a sophomore, I got pushed back into ninth grade, _and_ into ESOL classes, even though I speak English perfectly well. This was back at the beginning of this school year. Now, time to get into why, exactly, I moved from the Caribbean. Rewind to when I was 10. We’re all a happy little family, and then dad leaves. He’s just gone one day. And of course, like the true piece of shit he is, he takes all of our money. Not that we had much in the first place. So we are left to fend for ourselves.” Alexander paused here and took a deep, shuddering breath.

“Now, let’s fast forward to when I was 12 years old. My mother and I are sick. Disgustingly so. Fevers, throwing up, the works. And, since we didn’t have too much money, we couldn’t get the medicine we needed. One day, we’re lying in bed, and my mother is holding me. I am lying there, in her arms, and she stops breathing.” Alex swallowed and avoided the others’ eyes. “And I just couldn’t seem to die. So there I am, 12 years old. My mother is dead, my father has fucked off to who knows where, and I go to live with my cousin.”

Alex paused for a moment and took another deep breath. “I lived with Peter for about a year. The only reason that it wasn’t longer was because he killed himself. And guess who found the body,” Alexander recited in a singsong voice. “Peter’s dad tried to adopt us after that, but he died a month later. Then I went to live with a friend. Surprisingly, this person does _not_ die. Not to my knowledge at least. I lived with Edward for two years, but when I was 15, there was this horrible hurricane. It completely destroyed the town and I got separated from Edward and his dad. I had nowhere to go.

“Fortunately, thanks to my writing, I got to get off of that god forsaken island and I come to America, land of the free, as long as you’ve got money.” He muttered the last part angrily. “I lived in Florida for a month, and then I moved up to Virginia, where I entered the foster care system. The family moves up here to New York, and then it turns out that they can’t support themselves _and_ their children, _and_ me. So now, here I am, living here. And you know what the funniest thing to me about all of this is?”

John and Eliza shook their heads. Alex let out an insincere laugh and said, “I went through all of that shit – or at least most of it – trying to force myself into the role of being a girl. I had no fucking clue that the word ‘transgender’ even existed.”

The three were still for a moment, until Eliza pushed herself forward and wrapped her arms around Alexander.

“What’s this for?” he asked, confused, but welcoming the affection.

“You need love,” Eliza said, voice muffled by Alexander’s shoulder.

John moved to the other side of the couch and wrapped his arms around Alex from the other side. “Yeah. We all need love.”

“I suppose,” Alex said to them, comfortable. “Well, I have shared my story, payment is due John.”

Alex chuckled as John let out a ragged sigh. “Alright, alright. So. I was 6 when my mom died. Then it was just me, my baby sister Martha, who was only a few months old at the time, and Henry. For the first year, it wasn’t so bad. We got on pretty well, but I still missed mom.

“Then Henry got remarried. Now, a bit of background real quick. Mom’s from Puerto Rico. Henry is very white and _very_ conservative. I’m pretty sure he only married mom in the first place to make it seem like he was a good guy who didn’t get a Puerto Rican woman pregnant on accident. I’m from South Carolina, which is pretty southern. Henry is one of those guys who has a confederate flag hanging up in his home.” Alexander made a face of disgust and opened his mouth to comment, but John held up his hand to stop him. “I know. But let me finish.

“So, Henry gets remarried to this lady who’s nice enough. She doesn’t like me or Martha, she doesn’t say it, but I can tell. Kids are weird that way, y’know? But she’s nice to our faces. And then Henry starts to get… aggressive. There’s more yelling than usual, and he starts to hit me.” John bit his lip and held back angry tears and Alex felt John’s arms tighten around him. “And y’know, I take it, and I learn not to complain because that makes things worse, and I don’t do anything because I’m not even 7 years old and I figure that this is something that’s supposed to happen, that it’s just normal. And this goes on til I am about 9 or 10 years old, and I see him hit Martha. He smacked her across the face for running down the hall. I decide that I don’t like that, so I tell one of my teachers and she calls CPS.

“It sounds a lot more fucked up out loud,” John said after a moment, laughing.

“No shit,” Alex said. “Then again, it always does.” Alexander then turned to Eliza. “How about you? Any long, sad story you feel like sharing?”

Eliza cocked her head in thought. “It’s not long, and I personally don’t find it very sad, but my parents died when I was two. And I only know that because that’s what the orphanage lady told me. Then Philip adopted me when I was five.”

The three jumped then, as the front door opened. A second later, Washington appeared in the living room. He smiled at them and asked, “Who wants take out?”

* * *

 

Eliza, John and Alex walked to Eliza’s house after eating so that they could ask if she could spend the night. When they got to the door, Eliza dug in her pockets for her keys, but after some time searching, couldn’t find them.

“I could’ve sworn I got them before I left…” Eliza muttered to herself. “Forget it. I’ll just ring the doorbell.” She raised her hand and pressed the button, hearing the canned chimes from inside. They only had to wait a few seconds before the door opened.

“Who is- oh. It’s you guys. Come on in.” Peggy had answered. They opened the door wider to let them all in, then closed it and went upstairs.

“Holy shit,” Eliza heard Alex whisper from behind her. She turned to him and he said, “Your house is huge!”

“Yeah, but your guys’ house is about the same size,” Eliza stated, turning back around.

“That may be true, but it is the nicest house that I have ever lived in. It’s the nicest house that I have ever even been in, in fact. So forgive me if I am amazed,” Alexander said, both him and John following Eliza to the living room where her father sat, working on something.

“Hey dad,” Eliza said, sitting next to him and giving him a hug.

“Hello.” He looked up from his papers and at John and Alex, both of whom were still standing by the couch. “Hello John.”

“Hello sir,” John said, giving him a small wave.

Philip then turned to Alex and asked, “And who is this young man?”

Eliza held out her arm and introduced Alexander, who looked like he was trying to hide a grin. “Dad, this is Alex, he just started school today.”

“And I am the Washington’s new foster kid,” Alex added in quickly.

Eliza nodded. “And that. But I was wondering if I could spend the night over there?” she asked, twisting her hands together.

“You know you have to get up for school in the morning, right?” her father asked, fixing her with a stern gaze, and she nodded. “Alright. I trust you to make good choices.”

“Yes dad. Thank you!” Eliza wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him in another hug. When she let go, she grabbed John and Alex and pulled them towards the stairs, saying, “Come on guys!”

Eliza pushed open her door and the first thing she noticed was that her keys were on her bed. “There they are.” She put the lanyard around her neck and began looking around for her backpack.

While searching, Alex asked her, “Why is your room so… blue?”

Eliza shrugged and said, “I don’t know. I just like it.” She then found her bag under the bed, and looked through it, grabbing what she needed for the next day from the corner where she had put it the day before. After getting her bag organized, Eliza grabbed her uniform and shoved the clothes into the bag along with a pair of pajama pants and her toothbrush.

“Alright! Let’s go!” She led the boys downstairs and outside, giving Angelica a quick hug and a “See you tomorrow!” on the way.

Once they reached the end of her street, Alexander asked her, “So your dad trusts you to go to a house with two guys to spend the night?”

“Yeah. I mean, I know that’s not normal for most parents, especially straight parents, but dad knows that I’m poly, so really, no matter where I spend the night, there’s the possibility that I’m attracted to them, so he’s not going to restrict me from having fun and being a teenager just because I _might_ fuck someone at their house,” Eliza said.

“Huh. I have had two friends in my life; Edward and this guy Justin, and my last foster family never let me spend the night at a guy’s house. They also thought I was a straight girl, and I didn’t tell them otherwise,” Alex said.

“I’m sure you’ve had more than just the two friends in your life,” John said and Eliza nodded.

“Yeah,” she said. “You’re pretty cool.”

Alexander let out a laugh that made Eliza jump. “Not very many people seem to think so. And I’m still not sure why you guys do, but I am not complaining.”

John opened the door to their house and yelled out, “We’re home,” to Washington, Eliza supposed. She followed him up with Alexander coming behind her and they all stopped in the hallway.

“Whose room are we gonna be in?” John asked.

“I think we should go in yours,” Alex said. “It’s bigger, and we slept in my room last night so,” he ended with a shrug.

“Okay. Right this way, lady and gentleman.” Eliza involuntarily winced at the term ‘lady’, but no one noticed. John went to his room and flopped onto the bed. “Let’s all get dressed and then meet back here, yeah?”

Eliza and Alex nodded to each other and then at John. Alex went to his room while Eliza grabbed her things and went to the bathroom, getting changed, brushing her teeth, and tying her hair up in a bun before leaving. As she was walking back, something touched her arm and she jumped, turning around to see Alexander standing there.

“Jeez Alex!” she whispered.

“Sorry,” he said. “I need your help.”

Eliza immediately grew concerned. “What is it?”

Alex opened his door and beckoned her inside, closing it behind her. “So I just got a binder.” Eliza nodded, still not sure where this whole thing was going. “And I can’t get it off.”

“Ohh. Come here,” Eliza instructed. Alex stepped forward, looking wary. “Now put your arms up.”

“Arms up?” Alex asked, crossing them over his chest instead.

“Yes, arms up. You can turn around if that makes you more comfortable, but you need to put your arms up.” Alex sighed and turned around, lifting his arms above his head. Eliza grabbed the bottom of the binder and pulled up, lifting it over Alexander’s head. When she was done, he put on a shirt that was on his bed and turned to look at her.

“Thanks Eliza,” he said quietly.

“No problem. And hey, I’ll be here any time you need my help getting clothes off.” Eliza grinned and winked at Alex and they both devolved into laughter. “Now, let’s get back before John starts to miss us.”


	5. Special Announcement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter of this fic. the first part doesn't really go with the other two parts but i didn't want to make it its own chapter because it's pretty short. Umm it mentions drowning in the first part and periods in the second part, and that's all that I can think of. Enjoy

“I feel like we should play a game, since technically, this is a sleepover,” Alex said as he braided Eliza’s hair. “What kinds of games do you play at sleepovers? Other than truth or dare.”

John looked over at him and asked, “Do you seriously not know any games?”

“Well, I know a few, but once again, I have had two friends, and also, I am not from America, so I’m pretty sure ‘catch the spider’ is not a game you guys play.” Alexander felt Eliza shudder under his hands.

“Oh hell no, if it’s anything how it sounds, no,” she said.

Alex laughed. “It is _exactly_ what it sounds like. We would spot a spider, or any bug really, and the first person to catch it wins.”

“Well then, we know who’s _not_ organizing party games,” John said.

“Ooh! There was also jail, where we would run around, and the cops could basically do whatever they wanted to get the criminals. I would always punch them in the face and then drag their bodies to the jail area. I fucked up my knee once when I was running away. Look.” Alex lifted his left leg up onto the bed for John to see.

“Jesus Christ. Alexander, how the fuck did you manage to do that?” John asked. The scar was a few shades lighter than the rest of his leg and stretched across his entire knee.

“What? I wanna see,” Eliza said. Alex put a hair tie on the end of her braid and motioned for her to turn around. “Oh jeez, Alex.”

“Yeah. I was a criminal, and when I was running, I didn’t pay attention and tripped over a rock, then landed on another rock. The cops didn’t even let me go home to wash it off, so I had to wait 20 minutes before the game was over. It almost got infected.” Alex recited all of this with a cheery smile on his face.

“…okay. I say we play Never Have I Ever,” John suggested, a devious look on his face.

“Is that the one with the ten fingers?” Alex asked, mildly worried if it was.

“Yep,” Eliza confirmed.

Alex sighed heavily. “Alright.”

John started the game with a simple one. “Never have I ever lived outside of America.” Alex put a finger down.

They went in a circle, saying things like, “Lived outside of New York,” (Eliza), “Had a sister,” (Alex), and “Killed a man,” (John). No one put a finger down on the last one, thankfully.

They kept going around, progressively getting to less and less innocent things. Eliza was the first one out with “Never have I ever been taller than 5’2”.” Alex and John each had two fingers left up.

The game ended with Alex having one finger still up, having got John out with the statement, “Never have I ever had braces.” He triumphantly threw both arms in the air.

“I still can’t believe that Eliza is the least innocent,” John said, shaking his head.

“It’s not that I’m not innocent, but more that Alex’s statements were,” Eliza said.

“Those were the only kinds of statements I could say that would be true,” Alex said.

John squinted suspiciously at him. “Alright then.” Alex began bouncing on the bed.

“Let’s play reveal a truth,” Eliza suggested. “I mean, it’s not really a game, but it’s a good way to get to know people. We just go around and say things that the others don’t know about us. Alexander, you start.”

“Oh. Okay. Uh, my brother tried to drown me when I was four,” Alex said, saying the first thing that had come to mind.

“You have a brother?” Eliza asked.

“Yes. Technically I have two, but one of them is only my half-brother and I hate him. But yes. He’s named after our father, James, and last I heard he was a carpenter. He should be 18 now. One of you go.”

“I’ll go,” John said. “I cried the first time I kissed Martha because I didn’t like her that way and I didn’t want her to feel bad. That’s when we told each other we thought we were gay.”

“Heavy stuff for an eighth grader,” Eliza said. “Then me and her were dating last year, and she started crying while we were watching a movie together because she thought she was broken. So, it’s my turn. I kissed Hercules once. It was weird.”

“I hope this was before he and Laf started dating,” John said.

“Yes, don’t worry, I’m not a horrible person. They started dating soon after that though,” Eliza said. “Alex, your turn.”

“You guys remember the Edward guy from earlier?” Alex asked. John and Eliza nodded. “Yeah. We dated for a while.”

“My turn!” John called out. “Henry’s called me at least three times to ask if I’ve found a nice girl yet. I never answer him.”

“Nor should you,” Eliza told him.

The three then jumped for the second time that night as Washington opened the door. “Kids, it’s nearly 11 o’clock, you should go to bed soon if you want to wake up in the morning. And I will not allow you to sleep in class tomorrow if you are up much later.” He had a serious tone, but Alexander could see a small, playful smile on his face.

“Yes sir,” the small group said, all shifting as Washington closed the door.

“I call the middle!” Eliza said.

“Yeah, well I call the wall!” John said after, diving into the spot. Eliza rolled her eyes and climbed into the spot next to him and Alexander turned off the lights before he climbed in after her.

“Goodnight,” he said, closing his eyes and breathing deeply.

“Goodnight,” he heard the other two mumble, and he smiled.

* * *

 

Over the next few weeks, John watched as Alexander got acquainted with the school and slowly eased into being a part of their friend group. One day after school, nearly a full month after he had started, Alex walked inside looking furious. John stood up from the couch, where he had spent his sick day, to meet him.

“Hey, yo, Alex what’s wrong?” John asked, cautiously putting a hand on Alex’s back and helping him sit.

Alex looked up at John, still clearly seething, and asked, “Do you know who Thomas Jefferson is?”

John sat back down in his previous spot and nodded. “Yeah, what about him?”

“Well I just met him today, and he is apparently in my Creative Writing class. So I am going to have to deal with this insufferable _prick_ every other day for the next two months. He’s worse than Frederick! I can at least tune _him_ out, but Jefferson? He just says the stupidest fucking things! How can I just ignore the fact that there is that much ignorance in one room because of one fucking person?” Alex squeezed his eyes shut and exhaled, flopping back into the couch cushions.

“And it certainly does _not_ help that the whole time I was in that class, just listening to him run his fucking stupid mouth, my uterus just decides to say ‘fuck you’ and make me want to die more than I usually do!”

“Raspberry tea helps with cramps,” John said. “Also applying heat.”

Alex flicked his eyes over to him. “And you know this why? Not that I don’t appreciate the information, but I am a curious man John.”

“Many people with these problems come through here, and I wish to help them how I can,” John said. He made a move to get up, but was stopped by a hacking cough. When the coughing fit subsided, he moved to stand once more, succeeding this time. “I’m gonna make us both some tea, ‘kay?”

Alexander sat up from his spot and tried to get John to sit back down, saying, “What? No, John, you are sick, _I_ will make the tea, but you need to rest and become well again.” He stood and blocked John’s path, trying to push him back.

John laughed and sidestepped Alex, who then fell forward, almost landing back on the couch. John continued to the kitchen and said, “Don’t worry, it’s just the sniffles dude. Besides, I know where everything is. Just sit there and I’ll make the tea. Actually, go take off your binder, you shouldn’t be wearing it when you’re on your period.” Alex groaned and flopped down dramatically.

“But I don’t wanna… And besides, I need help with it, you know that,” Alex said.

“Fine,” John told him. “Then I’ll just help you with it.” Alexander looked at him with wide eyes and John rushed to say, “Only if you’re comfortable with that! But really, you shouldn’t be binding right now.”

Alex let out a ragged sigh and slid off of the arm of the couch, rolling to the bathroom, saying, “Fiiine… come on.” John followed him to the bathroom and Alex turned on the light, turning his back to the mirror. John looked away as Alex removed his tie and unbuttoned his shirt, discarding both items on the floor before holding up his arms, waiting for John to pull the binder up over his head.

“Thanks,” Alex said quietly. “Um, can you get me a shirt or a sweater or something please?”

John pulled off his school sweater, handing it to Alex, who took it and slipped it over his head as John went back into the kitchen to start the coffee pot to heat up some water. As he did, he heard Alex running up the stairs and coming back down a few minutes later, still wearing John’s sweater and now also wearing sweatpants.

Alex was holding the sweater sleeves in his hands as they were too big for him. John looked away to hide the blush he was sure had come to his face. ‘You need to stop this John,  you don’t know what could happen. Besides how well do you really know him? How long has it been? A little over a month, right? And remember Charles Lee? You knew him for longer than you’ve known Alex. But Alex wouldn’t do that to me, would he? It doesn’t matter! You need to stop.’

John was startled out of his thoughts by Alexander tapping him on the back. “Hello? John?”

John turned back to face him and said, “Hm?”

“The coffee pot’s done,” Alex said, pointing.

“Oh! Right, right, my bad.” John reached up in the cabinet next to him and pulled out two mugs, pouring the hot water into both of them, moving to another cabinet to get the tea when he was done. He felt Alexander’s gaze on him as he moved about the kitchen. When John nearly dropped the sugar from a sneeze, Alexander stepped forward and took it from him.

“I’ll take over from here. You go sit. And how sweet do you like your tea?” He asked John.

“Very,” John replied. As he walked back to the living room to curl up in his blanket nest, he said, “Hey, do you wanna invite someone over? Just to kinda hang out?”

“Sure,” Alex said, stirring sugar into his own cup before moving onto John’s. Just as John sat down, the doorbell rang, followed by frantic knocking. “I’ll get it,” Alex told him, placing both of their cups on the kitchen table as he passed. John got up and picked up his cup, blowing on it before taking an experimental sip.

He heard Alex talking to whoever was at the door, but was too invested in getting the sugar to sweeten up his tea some more to register who it was until she came inside. Eliza.

“John,” Alex said, “why are you putting more sugar in your tea?”

“It wasn’t sweet enough,” John said simply, punctuating the statement with a sniffle and still pouring sugar into the steaming mug.

“I put at least twice the amount of sugar into yours as I did mine!” Alex exclaimed. John set the sugar dish down and stirred his tea for a few seconds more before blowing on it and tasting it again. Much better.

“Yeah, well, I do like some tea with my sugar on occasion,” John said taking a sip. He turned and leaned against the countertop, still blowing on his tea. Alexander rolled his eyes and turned back to Eliza.

“What’s up?” he asked her.

“I have an announcement, but now I just want tea,” Eliza said. “Is that alright?”

John set his mug down and moved to grab one for her. He held up a green tea packet to her and she studied it for a moment before nodding her approval. Once all was done and they all had their tea, the three moved to the couch.

“So what’s your big announcement?” John asked Eliza after the three of them had settled. John could see Eliza steeling herself and getting ready to drop something big on them. He subconsciously leaned towards her and Alex did the same on his left.

“Well,” Eliza began. “I’m…”

* * *

 

Eliza sat at home on her computer scrolling through the internet. Her eyes alighted on a particular word. _Genderfluid._ It wasn’t the first time she had seen the word, far from it in fact. She knew a bit more about the word than one may think necessary, especially taking into consideration her comparable lack of knowledge on most other genders.

The first time Eliza had seen the word, she didn’t think much of it. She looked up the definition like she did with all new words and went on her way. But later on, she had taken more interest and done a bit more research, reading about the experiences of various genderfluid people and the varying versions of the term as they applied to different people.

Eliza didn’t think her fascination with the term weird or odd; it was normal for people to take interest in certain things and if this was what she had taken an interest in then why should that be weird?

Then she started to think about it more. Eliza was sure she hadn’t been so invested in other genders when she had first learned of them or even later on. And there had been times when she was sure that she wasn’t a girl, but she had always brushed those times off as she didn’t notice them often and she didn’t ever consider them significant.

However, looking back on it… it was definitely a possibility. Eliza thought back to those times that she could remember feeling like she wasn’t a girl and feeling sort of strange in her own skin. She thought of herself in that moment. Was she a girl then? She thought for a bit and came to the conclusion that right now, yes, she was a girl.

Eliza looked back towards her computer at the small word, _genderfluid_. She whispered it under her breath and looked up at her ceiling, thinking. ‘I suppose I could be… and it feels more comfortable than just saying that I’m always a girl, because I’m not.’ “Huh,” she said aloud. She rolled off of her bed and onto her feet, going to get some water.

“Hey Peggy,” she said. They were sitting at the table doing homework. They glanced up at her and grunted in greeting.

Eliza sat down next to them with her cup, peering over their shoulder. It was English. After at least another five minutes of Peggy staring at the paper and chewing on the end of their pencil, they gave up.

“Heya sis. What’s up?” They asked, staring at the ceiling.

Eliza shrugged. “I’ve recently made a discovery of myself and I think dad’s in for a bit of a surprise,” Eliza said, staring up at the ceiling with her sibling.

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” Peggy asked, rolling their head over to look at Eliza, who looked back at them from the corner of her eye.

“None of his kids are cis now. And only one of them is binary.”

Peggy nodded and looked back up before they realized what Eliza meant by her statement and sat up. “Wait, what?”

Eliza sat up as well to better discuss the matter. “Yep. I just concluded that I am genderfluid about five minutes ago. Pronouns right now are she and her.”

Peggy grinned at her and wrapped their arms around her neck. “Congratulations on figuring this out. Let me know if anything changes.” They let go and grinned at Eliza and she grinned back. Then, “Ooh! Angie.”

“Still gotta tell her,” Eliza agreed. She downed the rest of her water in  one gulp and then followed Peggy upstairs so the two of them could tell Angelica.

Eliza knocked on her doorframe and Angelica looked up from her phone. “Yes?” she said, raising an eyebrow.

Eliza and Peggy smiled at each other and Eliza threw both arms in the air and yelled out, “I’m genderfluid!”

Angelica grinned and got up to hug her. When she pulled back she asked, “And your pronouns are?”

“Right now they’re she/her,” Eliza told her. “I wanna go tell John and Alex. Can I?” she asked Angelica, who was in charge of the house whenever Philip wasn’t home.

“Yeah, but be safe, alright?” Angelica said, giving Eliza a stern look that she had, no doubt, acquired from their dad.

“Yes ma’am!” Eliza said. She then ran to her room to grab her keys and shoes.

The walk to the boys’ house wasn’t very far, only about 10 minutes, but it felt even shorter to Eliza that day as she skipped down the blocks, humming happily.

When she got to the door she rang the bell and then knocked quickly, wanting to get in to tell them as soon as she could. Alex answered the door wearing a sweater that was a few sizes too big (and almost definitely not his) and some old sweatpants.

“Oh, hey Eliza!” Alex said cheerfully. “What’re you here for?”

“I have news!” Eliza sang.

“Oh, what kind of news?”

“You’ll find out if you let me inside,” Eliza said and Alex stepped to the side allowing Eliza to step inside. He led her back into the kitchen where John was pouring an obscene amount of sugar in his tea. After nearly 10 minutes of Eliza being there, the three of them had all settled down in the living room, each with a different kind of tea.

“So, what’s your big announcement?” John asked, and Eliza could see the interest plain on each of their faces.

“Well, I’m…”

“Pregnant!” Alex said, not giving Eliza a chance to finish her statement, and she looked over to him with confusion plain on her face, she was sure.

“No. Why would I be pregnant? Who would be the other parent? No, what I was going to say was that I am-”

“Gay?” Alex asked. Eliza sighed.

“Well, Alexander, if would stop _rudely interrupting me_ , you would know by now what I am trying to say. And I thought I already told you I’m polysexual. But _anyway_ I have recently – and by recently I mean about a half hour ago – concluded that I am – drumroll please!” John obliged, drumming his hands on his lap, “Genderfluid!” Eliza concluded.

“Oh! Congratulations!” Alexander said, holding up his hand for a high- five, which Eliza indulged. Then both John and Alex squeezed her in a hug.

When they pulled back, John asked her, “Who else have you told?”

“Just Peggy and Angelica,” Eliza said, taking a sip of her tea.

The boys nodded, each drinking their own tea. Alex set his cup down then and asked, “Do you guys wanna watch a movie? I’m in a movie mood.”

“Can we watch Beauty and the Beast?” Eliza asked, settling down in between Alexander and John.

“Sure thing, Betsey,” Alex said, getting up to get the disc and set the movie up. When he sat back down, he grabbed a blanket and threw it over the three of them, getting comfortable.

And later, halfway through the movie, after John had stolen the blanket and with her head on Alex’s shoulder and John’s on her lap, Eliza began to realize just how helpless she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a reminder that kudos and comments are always appreciated, and I am open to suggestions.  
> Also, I am on tumblr as hckin-nerd so go check that out, I guess, and don't be afraid to talk to me. Seeya!


	6. The Madison Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if the title didn't clue you in, this is where the madison/alex part comes in  
> i've edited a few things in previous chapters, but it's nothing plot changing, just small tweaks and fixing typos. Also, I've added chapter titles. Enjoy! TheEmperorHasProclaimed looked over the first part for me

“You know,” Eliza said, upside down on Alexander’s bed, eating grapes, “I think I wanna use stickers to tell people my pronouns.”

Alex and John looked over to them and they shrunk into themself a bit. ‘That’s stupid,’ they told themself. ‘And they’ll tell you so, too.’

“What kind of stickers?” Alex asked, and Eliza relaxed.

‘Of course they wouldn’t judge me, how could I think that?’ They shrugged, which they imagined must look weird, because they _were_ upside down after all, and said, “Not sure. I know I have a lot though, and I figured that this would at least be a good way to get rid of them without outright throwing them away.” That last part was only partly true. The real reason was that they wanted people to stop asking.

It had only been a few days since Eliza had come out, and while they appreciated the sentiment, they were tired of everyone asking, every day, about pronouns.

“One of them should be a star,” John said.

Eliza furrowed their brows and asked, “Why a star?”

John smiled at them and booped their nose. “Because _you’re_ a star.” Eliza laughed and sat up, popping another grape into their mouth as they did.

They looked forlornly at the uncompleted essay sitting next to them and picked it up. The assignment was to write about certain themes in the book they had just finished reading in English, but it had been so boring that Eliza fell asleep every time they read in class. So then they had to read it all again _and_ do the essay in four days, and Mr. Zimmerman was adamant about no late papers.

Eliza sighed heavily, reading over what they had written already, scratching out a few words and adding in others that they thought made it sound professional. The room was silent other than the scratching of pen on paper and Alexander’s furious typing for the next 20 minutes or so, until a pinging noise came from Alex’s computer. He clicked through something and groaned when he was done.

Eliza looked up from the paper that they had long since stopped caring about, finding what Alex was doing to be much more interesting. Apparently John thought so too. The two of them watched as Alexander shut his computer and began gathering things from around his room.

“What’s up?” John and Eliza asked at the same time, matching looks of concern on their faces. The three of them laughed at the coincidence.

“I’ve gotta go meet up with Madison,” Alex said, grabbing a poster board that was next to Eliza.

“Why Madison?” Eliza asked.

“We’ve got a project together in Italian, and he was _supposed_ to be working with our other partner, John Jay, but Jay got sick, so now I have to do his part.” He said this all in an agitated voice, now shoving everything but the poster into his backpack.

“You want us to go with you so you’re not alone?” John asked.

Alex shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I do not wish to inconvenience you. Besides, we’re meeting at the antique shop down the road, so it is not a long walk.” He stood at the door and looked at Eliza and John expectantly, who took this as their cue to leave.

On their way out of the door, Eliza leaned down and kissed Alex’s forehead. “Good luck with your project,” they said, not missing the blush that spread across the boy’s cheeks.

“Thanks…” he mumbled dazedly, then went to find Washington to tell him where he was going.

After Alexander shut the front door behind him, John turned toward Eliza and asked them, “So, what do you wanna do now?”

They shrugged. “I know I should be working on that paper for Mr. Z, but I’m _so tired_ of looking at it.”

John hummed. Then, suddenly, making Eliza jump, “How about a game?”

“Monopoly!” They said immediately.

John groaned, “But you _always_ win! And you don’t even cheat!”

Eliza pulled their best puppy dog face and said, “Please?”

John groaned, and Eliza knew they had won. They grabbed John’s hand and dragged him to the game cabinet, standing on tiptoes to reach the box.

“I call the car,” John said.

“That’s fine. I like the dog best anyway.” Eliza was still struggling to reach the box as they spoke, and John eventually took pity on them, picking them up and setting them down on his shoulder so that they could reach the high shelf.

Eliza ruffled John’s hair and gave a cheery, “Thank you!” as they grabbed the box. John set them back down gently, and Eliza smiled up at him. The two made their way to the living room and sat on either side of the coffee table. Eliza set up the board, handing John the car and taking out the dog for themself.

“Do you want to be banker or shall I?” Eliza asked, getting out the money.

“You. You’re better at math,” John said, taking the pile of money that Eliza handed him.

Nearly 10 minutes into the game, Eliza sighed sounding sadder than they intended, heart just not in the game. John looked at them, concerned.

“What’s wrong little one?” Eliza chuckled at the name and John grinned back, flashing his braces.

“Nothing really. It’s just…” they paused, trying to find the words. “I don’t know, it’s kinda stupid.”

“Come on, if it’s enough to make you sad during monopoly, then it’s gotta be important,” John said, scooting over to them and putting his arm around their shoulders.

Eliza sighed again, blowing up a piece of hair that had escaped from their ponytail. “It’s gonna sound dumb, but… Alex. I mean, you’re fun and you’re my friend and I love hanging out with you, but it doesn’t feel right without Alex. Like we’re missing a part of us. And… it feels like he’s abandoned us. Does that make any sense?” They asked, looking up at John for a confirmation.

John nodded slowly and said, “Yeah. Yeah, I get what you mean. Like, kind of lonely.”

“Yeah! And of course he’s allowed to have other friends, and he’s only hanging out with Madison because of a project. But I miss him. He completes the trio.”

John nodded. “He’ll be back later though. For now, just kick my ass at monopoly.”

Eliza grinned. “Can do.”

* * *

 

Alex trudged down the road towards the shop, backpack straps digging into his shoulder, and binder starting to squeeze his ribs. He stopped to adjust it and then continued on again, mind trailing off. It landed on Eliza’s kiss. It wasn’t much, just a forehead kiss. But it made him feel warm and fuzzy inside.

He shook his head to clear it. ‘I don’t like Eliza like that. Do I? No. And they don’t like me that way either, so it does not matter either way.’ He squeezed his eyes shut and ran his hands through his hair. A few steps later, and he arrived at the antique shop, noticing that Madison still wasn’t there.

Alex groaned, although he couldn’t be mad; Madison had to walk slower than most people, since his asthma would act up if he went too far going faster than a leisurely stroll. Alex sat outside the shop, head in his hands.

He was still in this position 10 minutes later, when Madison showed up.

“Alexander, are you alright?” he asked, and Alex, not knowing at that moment who he was, jumped.

“Oh, it’s just you,” Alex said, relieved.

“I’ll try not to be offended at that. We need to start working, so get up,” James said, a wry smile twisting his features.

Alexander stood and brushed off his pants. “Yeah, yeah, where are we going?”

Madison started to walk back in the direction he came from, saying “There’s a small blacktop over this way where we can work in peace. I brought my camera, and I see you have the poster. What about markers?”

Alex got up and followed him. “Got ‘em. And an Italian- English dictionary. Along with various other things we may need.”

They arrived at the blacktop sooner than Alex had expected, and James began to set up his tripod, angling the camera so that it would get their whole bodies.

“Jay and I already wrote the script, so we can start recording whenever you’re ready,” James said, fiddling with the camera still, before smiling to himself and taking his hands away. “Perfect. Now, walk in front of the camera and I’ll tell you where to stand so we can have an awkward, forced conversation in Italian.”

Alex laughed as he moved to where Madison pointed. “Sounds like family reunions, although that was always in French or Spanish.”

“Impressive,” Madison said, making a few more adjustments.

“Not really. It’s the same as family reunions in English, just a bit more confusion,” Alexander said, but inside, he was glowing from the praise.

Madison pressed a button and walked over to Alex, and both boys smiled at each other.

Doing the project with James was a lot more fun than Alex had expected, especially considering that James was close friends with the person Alex considered to be his arch- nemesis.

Once they were _finally_ done with the video portion – it had taken nearly two hours, because both of them kept messing up and laughing – Alex noticed how late it was getting. The sun was starting to set.

“I should head back home,” he said, gesturing at the sky. Madison looked up from his camera.

“I should be going as well.” They both started gathering their things, and once they were both ready to leave, James kissed Alex’s cheek.

“I’ll see you in class tomorrow, Alexander,” Madison said as he walked away.

Alex touched his cheek where James had kissed and mumbled, “Bye,” though James was probably too far away to hear him by that point.

He walked back home, even more confused than he had been on the way to meet Madison. ‘It probably didn’t mean anything,’ Alex convinced himself. ‘It was just a reflex, an automatic reaction. Most likely an accident.’

He repeated this to himself as he walked, determined not to read into it. It was just a reflexive kiss on the cheek, nothing more.

When he got home, it was almost completely dark. No one was on the ground floor, so Alex walked upstairs. As he passed John’s open door, John looked up from what he was doing – homework, from the looks of it – and said, “Hey Alexander. How’d it go?”

“It was good. We didn’t finish it all though, so we may need to meet up at another time if Jay doesn’t come back into school soon.” John nodded. “Did Eliza go home?”

“Yeah,” John told him. “They left about a half hour ago. Oh! And we also decided on two of the stickers that they’ll be using. Star for she/her and a smiley face for he/him. They just need one for they/them now.”

“A heart,” Alex said immediately. He mentally face palmed.

“Any particular reason?” John asked.

“Not really. It just suits them. I’m gonna go drop my stuff off. Then maybe get some food.”

John nodded, going back to his work. “Okay. Let me know when you’re going down, I’ll eat with you.” Alex smiled, not quite understanding why he was so happy with that.

 

Over the next few weeks, Alex began to understand why. He buried his feelings, however, and started hanging out with James Madison more and more, even after the project was done. John Jay had ended up going to the hospital soon after Alex and James had done the video portion, so the two of them ended up completing the rest of the project together, and had bonded over the work.

Alex kept up his mantra of ‘Don’t read into it,’ even as Madison was overly affectionate and tactile with him, more so than with any other friends he had, including Jefferson, whom Alex knew he was closest to.

That was put to an end though, when James asked him out one day.

They had been hanging out in James’ room after school, not doing or saying anything of importance, when it happened.

“Alex,” Madison said, and Alex could tell that he was nervous.

“What is it James?” Alex asked, worried. James fiddled with his hands for a moment, refusing to look up and meet Alexander’s eyes. “What is it?” Alex repeated, insistent and slowly growing more worried.

James finally looked up at him and asked, “W-would you like to go out on a date with me?”

Alex was so taken aback and unprepared for the question that he couldn’t speak. He vaguely thought of how ridiculous that was, that he had nothing to say, but the rest of his mind was short-circuiting.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” James rushed to say when Alex didn’t respond. “But I hope we can still be friends either w-”

And before Alexander knew what he was saying, he cut him off. “No! I mean, yes, but no. Yes I want to go on a date, no to the- to the other thing. A date sounds fantastic.” He bit his bottom lip.

James’ face slowly broke out into a smile. “Wonderful.” Alex grinned at him, wondering what he had gotten himself into. They spent the rest of that day planning their date and once again, Madison kissed Alex’s cheek as he left.

“Why’re you so happy?” Washington asked as Alexander got in the car.

“I have a date,” Alex said proudly. “This Saturday, with James Madison.”

George smiled at him. “What are you two doing?”

“We will be going to see a movie. I am letting him decide what we see.”

“Won’t you need money?” Washington asked.

Alex shook his head. “I have not spent any of the allowance that you’ve given me since I’ve been here, as I do not leave the house much. I’ll be buying the snacks while he pays for the tickets.”

Washington smiled at him again as he pulled into the driveway. “Well I’m glad. What about rides?”

“His mother,” Alexander explained, opening his door and hopping out.

As they walked into the house, Alex saw Eliza, John, Hercules, and Lafayette having a cuddle pile on the couch.

“Hey stranger,” John said. “What’s got you all happy?”

At the question, Alex’s smile slid off of his face, but before it could mean anything he fixed it back into place, although now it felt strained. “I’ve got a date with James Madison.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eheheheh. I am excited for the next chapter. Kudos and comments make my day, so like, don't be afraid. Tumblr is hckin-nerd


	7. This Is Just A Cover-Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at me, updating twice in the same day (technically)! warning for abuse in the second part. it wasn't meant to turn into that, but it did, and I'm not changing it. unedited, so let me know if there's any mistakes pls. Enjoy!

They had all taken it better than Alex could have hoped. Lafayette stood and gave him a hug, saying, “Ah, they grow up so fast.”

Hercules clapped him on the back and grinned.

John and Eliza looked somewhat disappointed (or perhaps Alex was imagining it), but took it well. Eliza offered to help him get ready when the time came, and that’s where Alex was now.

Eliza was braiding his hair, talking to him soothingly. Alex supposed that Eliza had noticed how nervous he was, because everything he was saying were words of encouragement and comfort. As soon as Eliza had put on the hair tie, the doorbell rang. He looked out the window and told Alex that it was James.

Alex nodded, unbelievably nervous. He stood and hugged Eliza, and kissed his cheek, right on the smiley face sticker.

“Have fun, Alex! And tell Madison I say hi!” Alex nodded, assuring him that he would, as he rushed out of his room, grabbing his wallet as he did.

He opened the door to reveal James, shifting his weight from foot to foot and holding flowers.

“Well now I feel bad for not getting you any,” Alex said, without even greeting James.

James smiled as he handed Alex the flowers. “Don’t. I’m allergic. It’s actually best that you didn’t.” He punctuated the sentence with a sneeze and smiled at Alexander apologetically.

“I will be right back,” Alex said, rushing to the kitchen to put the flowers in a vase so that they wouldn’t die while he was gone. He ran back to the still open front door and said, “Okay, I’m ready.”

They went out to the car, both clambering into the back seat. The ride there was mostly silent, the only noise being that of the car and the radio that Mrs. Madison had playing quietly. Alex listened closely and noticed that it was gospel music. James was singing along under his breath.

When they got there, James’ mother said, “Enjoy your date! And call me when you boys are done! Love you Jemmy.”

James smiled at her and kissed her cheek. “Love you too mom.”

James and Alex walked up to the movie theatre and James gave the man at the entrance their tickets. When they finally sat down to the movie, Alex still didn’t know what it was. He opened his bag of Twizzlers and offered one to James, who politely refused.

By the end of the movie, all Alex knew was that it was animated and that he hated the squirrel with the squeaky voice. And he was sure that it was good, but he just couldn’t pay attention for long enough periods of time to be certain.

The two of them went back to James’ house afterwards. They hung out in his room, listening to music and talking about nothing and everything at once. They were hanging upside down on the bed.

There had been a lull in the conversation for a bit, and Alexander had his eyes closed, moving his head back and forth to the beat of whatever song was playing. Then, James broke the silence by sitting up and saying, “Alex?” Alex sat up as well and cocked his head to the side. “Can I kiss you?”

And Alex didn’t know what else to say, so he said, “Yes,” and then both of them were leaning forward until their lips met, and James’ were soft, but cold. Alex wondered how someone could have cold lips, but then, James had cold _everything_.

Alex had his hands on James’ waist, not knowing where else to put them, and James had his hands in Alex’s hair, having undone the braid. Then James deepened the kiss, running his tongue across Alex’s bottom lip, and Alex followed his lead, opening his mouth just slightly, and James took control, biting Alex’s lips and breaking away only for a moment before he went back in.

It was sort of strange to Alex, but it felt good at the same time, so he just kept pace the best he could. Then James broke away, and Alex put his hands in his lap, not knowing what else to do with them.

“I can’t,” James said, head in hands. “I’m sorry Alexander, but I can’t do this.”

Alex furrowed his brows and scooted closer to James. “What do you mean?”

James sat up and looked at Alex. “I… I like someone else.”

“Oh.” And that’s all that Alex can think to say. It isn’t good, it isn’t bad, but it is there and it is all that Alex can say.

“Is that it? You aren’t… mad?” James asks.

Alex thinks. “No. I’m not. But I _would_ like to know who this person is.” Although Alex has a feeling that he already knows.

James sighs and flops back, onto the wall. “It’s Thomas Jefferson.”

“Oh. Why haven’t you told him?” Alex asks.

“What? Why _would_ I tell him? He’d reject me, and besides, he isn’t attracted to guys.” James says.

Alex can’t help the laughter that bubbles up out of his throat. James glares at him. “If he isn’t attracted to guys, well then, he’s sure attracted to you!”

“What? Don’t joke like that Alex!”

“I’m not joking! I swear, I am telling the truth! Or at least what it is that I believe to be the truth.” James squints at him suspiciously and Alex holds up his hands.

“Alright. Say he does like me. How on _earth_ would _you_ , of all people, know? He hates you,” James says.

“Trust me, I am well aware of that fact and, no offense, but the feeling is mutual. As for how I know, the real question is, who _doesn’t_ know? He’s so obvious about it, always mooning after you and flirting with you. And honestly, with how close you two are, I was quite surprised when you told me that you weren’t dating.

“And besides that, when we did poetry in Creative Writing, it was so obvious that his love poem was about you, because I’m pretty sure that Jefferson doesn’t know anyone else who ‘ _even wheezes endearingly’_ ,”  Alex said, recalling the truly awful and cheesy poem Jefferson had presented.

And then it was James’ turn to say, “Oh,” and nothing more.

“So. Yeah. You should tell him,”  Alex says.

James looks positively alarmed at the thought. “I couldn’t! I _can’t_!” he insists.

“Fine then. I have a plan.”

James looks wary as he says, “And that is…?”

“It involves us pretending that we are still ‘a thing’.” He emphasizes this with finger quotes. “This gets Jefferson jealous, he approaches me, and then I can let him know. Or, another possibility, _he_ tells _you_ how _he_ feels, or does some obvious show of affection like a kiss, and boom. You guys are together,” Alex explains, as if it should have been obvious.

“Are you sure that’ll work?” James asks.

“Nope! But if it doesn’t, no worries! I will be there as moral support when you tell Jefferson of your feelings for him.”

James looks at him suspiciously and then slowly begins to nod. “Alright. That sounds… reasonable. But, are you sure that you aren’t mad? I did kind of use you as a cover-up.”

“I’m not. Trust me. And it would be _quite_ hypocritical of me if I were upset over that, as I did kind of do the same thing,” Alexander says, deciding that he can trust James with this secret, as he had trusted Alex first.

“Oh really? Who is it?” James asks, eyebrows raised.

“Okay, don’t judge me, please, but… it is more than one person.” Alex bites his lip and awaits judgement.

“Who are they?” James asks, smiling.

“John and Eliza.”

“Alex, you can’t just say ‘John’. I know at least 10 Johns. And while I have  good idea of which one, I would still like to know for sure.”

Alexander rolled his eyes. “Laurens.”

James nodded. “That’s who I thought you meant. Is it like, a polyamorous crush? Or is it that you can’t decide who you like more?”

“Polyamorous. Definitely,” Alex tells him. “They both just so… I don’t know.” He sighed and flopped onto the bed. James joined him a second later, letting out his own sigh.

“I know what you mean,” he said.

Alex turned his head to look at James and said, quietly, “James, I think I love them.”

* * *

 

John was in his room, and he wouldn’t say it himself, but he was sulking. Alexander had just left for his date, and as soon as John had heard the door close, he trudged downstairs. When he walked into the kitchen, he saw the vase of flowers and turned around and headed back to his room.

He walked in to find Eliza stretched out on his bed, eyes closed. John grinned and stepped over to him silently, attacking his sides once he was close enough.

“Ah! John, stop!” Eliza shrieked, grabbing his sides and trying to squirm away from John, but John moved closer until he was straddling Eliza, his arms on either side of the other boy’s head.

They both paused for a second, panting, and John leaned down to kiss Eliza’s forehead before rolling away to flop down on his other side.

Neither of them spoke for a while, and by the time John opened his mouth to say something, Eliza was snoring gently. John smiled and threw a blanket over them. He stood and went back downstairs, going into the kitchen to get a snack, resolutely ignoring both the flowers and his bitter feelings (though he had less success with the latter).

It’s not that he wasn’t happy for Alexander; he was, very much so. But there was another feeling there too… he couldn’t place it, but it made him feel angry and sad and hollow all at once.

A nagging voice in the back of his head whispered, ‘You’re jealous… how pathetic.’ The voice sounded suspiciously like Charles Lee. John shook his head as if he were trying to scare away a bug, trying to shake off the voice. But it stuck. ‘He’s not yours, he was never yours, and he’ll never _be_ yours. You have no right to be jealous. What a piece of shit.’ It was starting sound more and more like Charles Lee, and John grabbed his head, digging his nails into his scalp.

“Go away, go away, go _away,_ ” he muttered to himself. But he couldn’t get rid of it. And before he could stop it, memories were rushing back.

 _John and Charles were walking through the halls, Charles’ grip on John’s hand just a bit too tight. But John didn’t say anything. He_ never _said anything._

_“Walk faster will you? You’re so fucking slow, we’ll be late,” Charles said, tugging John along behind him. John picked up his feet more, trying to match pace, but the other boy was going too fast. When they got to Charles’ class, he yanked John down for a kiss and then disappeared into the room without saying anything._

_John stood there so long that before he knew it, the late bell was ringing and he had to run to get to the office._

_Then they were at the fair. It had been a particularly good day that day; the sun was shining and Charles was laughing and John could forget how much his wrist hurt from when Charles had grabbed him._

_And as the two of them were walking to another one of the games, someone knocked into John and he landed hard on the ground. Charles was laughing at him, and he felt ridiculous, sitting there on the ground and trying not to cry as his boyfriend laughed at him._

_Then suddenly, they weren’t memories of Charles Lee, but his father._

_He was seven years old, and Henry had hit him for the first time, slapping him for talking out of turn. All he had done was ask a question, so_ why was his dad yelling so much _?_

_Next, he was eight and wearing big, baggy shirts to hide the bruises, learning how to use concealer and his hair to hide black eyes. He stopped playing so much and became quieter, more reserved, and slowly, no one wanted to play with him anymore._

_And then was ten and he walked into the room just as Henry had hit Martha, who was screaming, with tears running down her face. John had run in, yelling at Henry, not thinking about his own safety, grabbing his sister and pulling her into his room, locking the door behind him, trying to keep up a brave front for her so she would be less scared._

_But it was difficult when he was shaking almost as much as she was, and boiling with rage at the red mark that was swelling under her eye._

John came back to himself as, suddenly, someone was touching his shoulder. He turned around quickly, giving himself whiplash, fists raised. He was shaking.

John looked down at the face and saw that it was only Alex, who was looking terrified and concerned. John sighed and slowly lowered his hands.

“S- sor-” John tried to spit the words out, but he couldn’t seem to do it.

“It’s fine. You do not need to apologize,” Alex said. “ No harm, no foul, right?” He shot John a tentative smile, and John sent him one back in return. “Are you okay with contact right now?”

So Alex had experience dealing with these kinds of things. Or maybe he was the same way. John thought and slowly shook his head. He couldn’t deal with the contact right now, not with the memories of Charles and his father so clear in his mind.

He shrunk into himself, expecting to find anger, but Alex was calm. He nodded and sat down across from John. When had John sat down? He didn’t know.

“What’re you doing home so early? Don’t you have a date?” John asked suddenly. He looked over to the clock and noticed that it was much later than when John had started.

“Yeah, but the movie ended and we didn’t have too much to talk about afterwards. Well, it was a big thing that we talked about, but it was really the only thing we talked about. I’ll tell you about it if you want.” John sighed, glad that Alexander wasn’t pressing the issue. Then he nodded.

“Yeah, sure. But let me check up on Eliza. They fell asleep on my bed earlier.” Alex nodded, understanding.

John dashed up the stairs and to his room, opening the door slowly. Liza sat up as he turned on the light, rubbing their eyes. “John?”

John  stepped forward and sat next to them gently. “Yeah, it’s just me Betsey. Alex is back from his date, and apparently he has something big to tell us if you want.” Eliza nodded, throwing the covers off of their legs and standing, following John to the kitchen.

“You undid your braid,” said Eliza, as soon as they saw Alex.

He laughed nervously and nodded. “Yeah. Whoops. Hey, have your pronouns changed?”

Eliza made a face of deep concentration and slowly shook their head. Or rather, his head.

“So, Alex, what is it that you wanted to say?” John asked, leaning back in his chair.

“Well, first off, I have no idea what movie we saw. Second, we kissed at his house, and I think he’s a good kisser, but I have literally _no_ experience to base it off of. It was him who undid the braid by the way, Eliza. And finally, it was all kind of a cover-up. He likes someone else.” John sat forward, trying to take in all of the information.

It was Eliza who spoke first. “You guys kissed?” he asked.

Alex rolled his eyes lovingly and nodded. “Yes, but that is not the important part.”

“Wait. So you’re sitting there, and you are telling us that your first kiss – your _very first kiss_ – was with James Madison?” John asked, not sure whether to laugh or to cry.

“ _Yes,_ but is no one paying attention to the thing I said after that? About how he likes someone else? And used me to try to bury his feelings?” Alex asked exasperatedly.

“I mean, I noticed it, but the kiss sounds more interesting,” Eliza said, shrugging. John nodded in agreement.

“But that’s kind of a dick move,” John said. “Aren’t you mad at him for that?”

“Not at all, considering that I did the same thing. But do you wanna know who he likes or not?” Alex whined.

“Yes! I wanna know!” Eliza said, very energetic for someone who had just woken up not even 10 minutes earlier.

“It’s Thomas Jefferson,” Alexander said proudly.

“Ew,” John said, as Eliza said, “Oh.” They laughed at each other.

“Yeah. And I’m helping James get with him.”

“What? Why?” John asked.

“Because I pity him. But we’re pretending that we’re still together, so do not say anything until this is over, okay?” Alex fixed both of them with a stern gaze and both of the other boys swore their silence. “I’m hoping that it’ll make Jefferson jealous enough to make a move.”

John nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like something he’d do.”

“Can we go back upstairs?” Eliza asked, and the others looked at him. “I was comfortable,” he explained.

“Yeah, come on.” John led them all upstairs and back into his room, each of them collapsing onto then bed.

John relaxed and then suddenly he realized something. “I never got my snack.” He mumbled and the other two chuckled at him.

And maybe John could learn to let them in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the bit with John's memories was longer, but I took out a big chunk. It will probably come back later tho, so you have been warned.
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated and go check me out on tumblr, hckin-nerd i just kind of exist there


	8. Mission Accomplished

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is pretty short, but I kind of just wanted to get it out, and I couldn't figure out how to add more to it without messing up the structure of the chapter and getting wildly off-topic. So yeah. Enjoy!

The rest of the weekend is calm. They all fall asleep in John’s bed on Saturday night (entirely by accident, Alex tells himself) and on Sunday, James comes over so that they can fine-tune the details of their plan. Not that there were many. Really, Alexander just wanted to piss Jefferson off, and if he ended up helping out a friend in the process, then that was a bonus.

However, James seemed to be stuck on one tiny detail…

“You told them?” he exclaimed rather than asked when Alex had mentioned it.

“Yes, I did. Why is that a problem?” Alex asked, truly confused.

“Because you did so without my permission!” James said. They were currently in Alexander’s room with the door closed.

“I trust them James,” Alex said simply and James shook his head in exasperation. “And I promise that it’s not just my fondness for them talking. Wouldn’t you have told Thomas if our roles were reversed?”

James softened then. “Fine. As long as _they_ don’t tell anyone else.”

“They won’t! I made them promise before we fell asleep,” Alexander told him eagerly.

“Fell asleep?” James asked, one eyebrow raised.

“Yes. We all fell asleep in John’s bed last night,” Alex said, only realizing how it sounded once the words left his mouth. He flushed but stared at Madison, not quite in the eyes, but in the face at least.

“Alexander,” James chided. “You can’t just do this to yourself.”

“And why not?” Alex countered. “You do it all the time with Jefferson.” James looked down at his lap and Alex suddenly felt guilty. ‘Stupid, stupid, you always do this! Say something!’ Alexander cleared his throat and looked away from James, who looked dejected and small. “That was uncalled for,” he said quietly. “I did not mean to upset you James.”

James looked up, brows creased and biting his lip. He nodded. “It’s… don’t worry about it. Let’s just make sure everything goes as smoothly as possible.”

Alexander nodded in agreement. “We may need to be pretty affectionate to convince Jefferson, so we should each lay out our boundaries so that one of us doesn’t go too far with something.”

“Okay,” James said, nodding.

“I think we can both agree on nothing below the belt,” Alex said, getting out a piece of paper to write it all down on. “And I’m including butt touches on my behalf.”

“Yes, I can agree to that. And kissing on the mouth is okay, but nothing overdone.” James said. Alex put it on the list.

“Absolutely. Is hand-holding okay with you?”

The two boys sat there for nearly an hour, discussing what was okay and what wasn’t, pet names that they could use for each other, and even where they would meet up during the school day.

They broke for lunch, and Alex noticed that John was glaring at James the entire time. James himself didn’t notice, or if he did, didn’t let it show.

Eliza, on the other hand, was chatting with James amiably about something that had happened in Italian the other day that Alex had been in the bathroom for.

After lunch, Eliza had to go back home. “I didn’t do my chores yesterday, so I’ve gotta do them today or they’ll never get done,” he explained.

He kissed John and Alex on their foreheads (although it was a bit more difficult with John) and shook James’ hand.

“Bye! I hope everything goes well!”

 

One week later, and things were _not_ going well.

Or rather, they _were._ And that was the problem.

James and Alex’s ‘relationship’ was going smoothly. No bumps in the road, no huge fights, and the only thing that Jefferson had said about it (which was directed solely at James) was, “Congratulations buddy,” although Alexander could see the anger and jealousy clear in his eyes. At least he got to piss off Jefferson.

When nothing had happened by the next Sunday, Alex urged James to take action.

“C’mon. We’ve been as mushy and romantic around him as we possibly can without having our tongues down each other’s throats, and the closest I have seen him to making a move is growling and turning away,” Alex said.

They were at James’ house this time, as Alex didn’t want to have John glaring at James the whole time again.

James buried his face in one of his pillows, so his next words came out muffled.

Alex sighed and said, “James I can’t hear you.”

James lifted his face from the pillow and glared at Alex before conceding. “I just don’t know what to say.”

“James, you could literally pass Thomas one of those notes with the little check boxes and he’d be ecstatic,” Alexander deadpanned.

James sighed, sounding sad. “I know, but… I want it to be perfect. As sappy as that sounds.”

Alex felt a small smile tug at his lips as he moved over to comfort his friend. “James, it cannot be perfect. We as humans strive for perfection and then, when we don’t reach it, we berate ourselves for not trying hard enough, for not doing enough. I myself am quite guilty of this. But the fault is not in our efforts, but in our goals. We make them impossible to attain. So it does not have to be perfect. It just has to be good.”

James looked at him and smiled. “Thank you, Alexander. But I would still like for you to be there.”

“Of course. After all, what are boyfriends for?” The two dissolved into a fit of laughter and stayed like that for several minutes before calming down completely and working on how they would go about getting all three of them alone together.

The next day, at lunch, Alex and James approached Thomas, who was sitting with someone who Alex believed to be named Martha. ‘There’s so many Marthas,’ Alex thought to himself before refocusing on what was going on.

“Thomas,” James said, “May I speak to you?” Alex put a hand on his shoulder to try and calm him down, as his voice was shaking slightly.

Jefferson looked suspiciously at both of them, then down at his half-finished soup, and then back at them. He sighed and stood, motioning for them to lead the way. ‘That was a lot easier than I expected.’

The three of them made their way out of the lunchroom and upstairs to the library. Once they found a table in an empty, secluded corner, James opened his mouth to speak.

Thomas, however cut him off by putting his hand up. “James, I’ll let you speak, I will, but I just have one question.” He moved his hand to point at Alex. “Why is _he_ here?”

“I am right here you know,” Alex said, indignant at being ignored. “And I’m here for moral support, because James has something very important to tell you. I am his _boyfriend_ after all.” He put a heavy emphasis on the word _boyfriend_ and had trouble containing his laughter as anger flashed in Jefferson’s eyes. Alex was almost sorry that he and James were ending this façade, if only because he wouldn’t get to see that look on Jefferson’s face anymore. At least, not as often. But alas, his friend needed him, and he was not about to disappoint.

James whacked his arm and hissed out, “Alex! Behave.” He turned to Jefferson quickly and said, “You too.” He sounded annoyed, but Alex could see the laughter on his face and he leaned back in his chair, satisfied.

“Anyway,” James began, sighing and turning to face Jefferson fully. “Alex is right; I have something _very_  important to tell you.” He took a deep breath, steeling himself, and said, “Thomas, I- I really like you. And I mean this in a more-than-platonic way.” He bit his lip and stared Jefferson in the eye.

Alex watched as Thomas’ face morphed from general annoyance to shock. “Wait. But what about- you? And him?” he pointed at Alex, who gave him a little wave and a sarcastic smile. Jefferson glared at him. “I hope that you aren’t suggesting that we all date each other, because I _refuse_ to-”

James cut him off swiftly. “No, no, no, Thomas. That’s not what I meant. Alexander and I… we’re just friends.” Alex leaned forward again and grinned widely.

“What?” Alex was really enjoying the dumbstruck look on Jefferson’s face. “But I thought… but you told me you guys were dating! Last week! I’ve seen you together in the halls all the time, so gushy and disgusting. Did you _lie_ to me?” Thomas looked at James, clearly hurt.

“Well, yes and no.” Jefferson turned his head to look at Hamilton so quickly that Alex wondered if he’d gotten whiplash. “We did lie to you about dating for this past week. But technically we _were_ dating, if you count one date to an animated movie that I _still_ don’t know the name of and a kind of awkward make out session afterwards, then yes. We were dating. But this? This was just a plan to try to get you to make a move on old Jemmy here. It was all my idea, by the way.”

Alex clapped a hand on James’ shoulder and continued. “However, you did no such thing, so here we are.”

Jefferson gaped at the two of them for a while until James stood and grabbed him, gently leading him back to the cafeteria, Alex assumed. He watched them go with a self-satisfied smirk on his face before making his way back down.

When he got back to his table, everyone crowded around, asking him questions like, “What happened?”, “Where’s James?”, and John’s, “How did it go?”

Alexander looked at John – at his beautifully perfect, freckled face – and said, “Mission Accomplished.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> go bother me on tumblr @ hckin-nerd and please leave kudos and comments, they are always appreciated!


	9. Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm gonna be at my grandma's house next week, so this is probably the last chapter that im gonna post before I leave (which is tomorrow). So, please, enjoy, despite it's awkwardness and shortness

Eliza knocked on the door to Angelica’s room gently, not wanting to disturb anyone else in the house. It was nearly midnight, after all.

After a few seconds, Eliza began to hear movement from inside of the room. A moment or two later, the door opened to reveal Angelica, leaning heavily on the doorway with her hair tied back. She raised an eyebrow at Eliza and then invited her in silently, hopping toward the bed where her prosthetic was leaning.

Eliza closed the door gently behind her and climbed onto the bed next to Angelica. When she said nothing, Angelica prompted, “What’s wrong?”

Eliza sighed heavily. “Nothing’s _wrong_ , really.”

“Bullshit. Something’s up, why else would you be at my door in the middle of the night?” Angelica asked, though her voice was gentle.

“I mean, nothing happened, but it’s… it’s John and Alex.” Eliza looked down at her hands, a blush spreading to her cheeks.

“Did they hurt you?” Angelica asked sharply and Eliza rushed to calm her.

“No, no, no, no! No, they didn’t do anything. I promise,” she added when Angie gave her a skeptical look. “I just… Angie, I really like them. I really like _both_ of them. But it’s so obvious that they’re both into each other, and if they got together, of course I’d be happy for them, I would, but… I don’t know if I could handle it. You know? Seeing them happy together all the time…” Eliza wiped at her eyes. Damn her tiny tear ducts!

“Oh, ‘Liza,” Angelica said softly. “Come on, c’mere. Angie’s got you.” She wrapped Eliza up in a hug and Eliza let herself cry silently into her sister’s shoulder.

When Eliza’s tears had stopped, she pushed herself off of Angelica and rubbed her face, laughing at herself. “Sorry. I’m just being silly,” she said, more to herself than to Angie. But Angelica took her hands and looked at her with something in her eyes that Eliza couldn’t quite place.

“No, you aren’t being silly. You’re _not_.” She insisted when Eliza had laughed. “You know, they both look at you like you’re the sun?” she said, rubbing soothing circles into Eliza’s hands.

“What? No they don’t,” Eliza immediately dismissed. ‘I would have noticed that, wouldn’t I?’

But Angelica nodded. “They do. It’s really obvious how much they care for you. Of course, if they ever hurt you, you may not ever see either of them again, but…” She trailed off with a small smile.

“You just don’t notice it because it’s _you_ that they’re looking at. You notice the way they see each other because you’re an outside observer there. Like before me and Maria started dating, and you were the one who pointed out how obviously in love with me she was.”

Eliza laughed. “Yeah. It was so frustrating, just watching you two pine after each other and both of you being too scared to do anything about it.”

“And it’s the exact same thing here. Just with more people. And you don’t notice because you’re so focused on _them_. And I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but just know that they care about you Eliza.”

Eliza sighed. “But I’m scared to say anything to them. Because what if I do it wrong? Or what if they reject me? Oh Angie, what if you’re wrong? What if they just look at me like that because they think I’m like a child! Can’t take care of myself, can’t do anything right.” She groaned and held her face in her hands.

Angelica pulled Eliza into her lap and held her gently. “Shh. It’ll be okay ‘Liza. You don’t have to say anything to them if you really don’t want to. Although if you don’t say anything, they might not either. And if you decide that you _do_ want to say something, you don’t have to do it right now. You can wait and prepare. Okay?”

Eliza nodded, much calmer than before. “Angie?” she asked tentatively?

“Yes?”

“Can I sleep in here tonight? Like when we were kids?” Eliza looked up into her sister’s face and Angie smiled.

“Sure thing kiddo.” And as Eliza crawled under the covers, she was reminded of just how lucky she was to have Angelica for a sister.

* * *

 

John couldn’t sleep. He told himself that it was just because it was too hot, and he kicked off the covers, shifting around to get comfortable. But when it had been nearly a half-hour and he was still awake, he flopped onto his back and sighed heavily, resigned to another sleepless night.

John stood up suddenly and went to his door, opening it, grabbing his phone on the way. He crept silently towards Lafayette’s room, holding his breath when the floor creaked as he passed Alexander’s door. He didn’t let go of the breath until he had reached Laf’s room, and texted them to ask to come in, rather than knocking; he wanted to be as silent as possible.

The door opened, and slowly revealed Lafayette’s face. Hercules was laying down on the floor, counting the glowing stars that Laf had all over their room.

“What is it John?” Laf asked, concern all over their face.

John looked over his shoulder and back at Alex’s room. The door was still closed.

“Can I come in? I need some advice,” John asked. Lafayette looked at him as if they were considering saying no, but then they sighed and opened the door wide enough to let John in.

“What is it?” Laf repeated once the door was closed.

“Okay, so I’m gay, right?” John started off, feeling embarrassed, but needing the advice.

“To my knowledge, yes, you are,”  Lafayette said. Hercules had stopped counting the stars and looked over to where the two were standing.

“Right. So say, hypothetically,” John said, and Lafayette gave him a look, but John continued, “yes, hypothetically, that I like someone who isn’t a guy. What does that mean?”

Lafayette hummed. Hercules was the one who answered.

“We can’t tell you who you are John,” he said, standing and coming over to the two. “But maybe you aren’t strictly gay? There are a lot of words that could encompass this, like bisexual, polysexual, pansexual, or maybe you don’t even feel sexual attraction. Then it’d just be romantic attraction. Or, you could be gay in your sexual attraction and have a different romantic attraction. But like I said, we can’t tell you who you are.” He shrugged and wrapped his arms around Laf’s waist, and John felt a pang in his stomach. He wanted something like that. Someone he could hold whenever he wanted.

“Who’s the lucky person?” Laf asked, a smile lighting up their features.

“Uh. There’s… more than one person,” John said quietly.

“Oh? Well, who are they?” Laf pressed.

John groaned and covered his face with his hands. He mumbled into his hands.

“What?”

“Well, one of them lives here, if that helps you any,” John said, rather than repeating what he’d mumbled.        

Laf and Herc looked at each other confused, before realization lit up their faces. “Alex?” Hercules asked in a whisper. John nodded.

“Who else?” Laf asked.

“Eliza.” They nodded.

“Come, sit down,” they said, leading John to their bed and patting the side where Hercules didn’t sit. John sat warily.

“What are you doing?” he asked warily.

“We have to come up with a plan for you three to end up together!” Laf whispered excitedly.

“What?” John said, a bit louder than he’d intended. “What?” he repeated, quieter. “That’s… it’s never gonna happen, Laf.”

Lafayette waved away the comment with their hand. “Nonsense mon ami.”

John rolled his eyes. “I don’t wanna talk about it anymore right now. I just… I’m tired.” And it wasn’t a lie. With the admission off his chest, he just felt drained. All he wanted to do was sleep.

Laf’s face softened. “Alright. Go sleep. We will be here for you whenever you need, yes?” John nodded gratefully. Laf kissed him on both his cheeks and Herc gave him a tight hug. He crept back to his room and felt lighter, somehow, as if the secret had been a huge weight he had been carrying on his shoulders.

He fell onto his bed and his last thought before slipping into unconsciousness was ‘Maybe I’m not as gay as I thought…’

* * *

 

 **ham and cheese:** Peggy

 **ham and cheese:** I need help

 **NONE ARE SAFE FROM MY WRATH:** whAT IS IT MY FELLOW CITIZEN

 **NONE ARE SAFE FROM MY WRATH:** whoops didn’t mean to yell

 **ham and cheese:** It’s fine

 **ham and cheese:** But I really like these two people, right?

 **NONE ARE SAFE FROM MY WRATH:** right

 **ham and cheese:** Right

 **NONE ARE SAFE FROM MY WRATH:** so ur poly?

 **ham and cheese:** Yeah

 **ham and cheese:** And one of these people that I really like is your sibling

 **ham and cheese:** Eliza

 **NONE ARE SAFE FROM MY WRATH:** ye i figured

 **ham and cheese:** Yeah. And the other is John. And I don’t know what to do

 **NONE ARE SAFE FROM MY WRATH:** so ur coming to me?

 **NONE ARE SAFE FROM MY WRATH:** the aro/ace person

 **ham and cheese:** Uh

 **ham and cheese:** Yes?

 **ham and cheese:** No one else was online

 **ham and cheese:** And you’re a lot less scary than Angelica is

 **NONE ARE SAFE FROM MY WRATH:** hm

 **NONE ARE SAFE FROM MY WRATH:** yeah i guess

 **NONE ARE SAFE FROM MY WRATH:** lemme change my name real quick

**NONE ARE SAFE FROM MY WRATH has changed their name to fuckin cupid over here .**

**fuckin cupid over here:** alright so

 **fuckin cupid over here:** what u gotta do

 **fuckin cupid over here:** is just tell them

 **fuckin cupid over here:** bc ur really obvious about your pining, and they are too

 **fuckin cupid over here:** and that’s the best advice I can give

 

As Alex was typing his response, he heard something from outside of his door. He got up and crept towards it, opening it slowly, and then all at once, revealing….

Nothing. He must have just imagined the sound. He closed the door and went back to his computer, finishing typing up his response.

**ham and cheese:** Are you sure Peggy?

 **ham and cheese:** Because I’m not

 **fuckin cupid over here:** yes, I’m so sure, im like, the most sure

 **ham and cheese:** Wait, what do you mean ‘they are too’?

 **fuckin cupid over here:** uh

 **fuckin cupid over here:** gotta go, nighty night

 **ham and cheese:** Pegy don’t leave me!

 **ham and cheese:** Peggy*

**fuckin cupid over here is offline.**

 

Alexander sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He really needed to wash it. He would do it tomorrow.

Instead he thought about what Peggy had said. ‘And they are too.’ Alexander shook his head to himself slowly. He minimized Skype and opened up a word document, beginning to type. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to sleep, especially not after the conversation he’d just had with Peggy, which brought up more questions than anything.

He typed, just writing out his thoughts and the questions that he had. Reading back over it, it was all simply nonsense, but then again, his writings on his thoughts and feelings usually were. It captured how he felt, Alex thought.

He saved the document and labelled it as ‘journaling 22’. He opened up a new one and began to write a letter, but then changed his mind and switched over to pen and paper. The computer didn’t feel personal enough to him, and there would be no way to send the letter.

By the time the sun began rising, he was finished with the letter and the side of his left hand was covered in ink. He folded up the pages (there were at least three) and wrote on the front, ‘To Mom’. He tucked it into his drawer with the others and crawled under his covers, exhausted.

‘At least it’s the weekend,’ he thought, grabbing his old blanket and cuddling up to it, most certainly not wishing for the warmth of another person (or two) instead.


	10. What Are We?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE RETURNED FROM THE DEAD! lol but really, it's been a while (it's been a month) and quite honestly, I have no excuse. But here is a chapter! That I hope is happy and angsty enough for everyone! There are a few things to look out for. Vomit is mentioned in the first part and in the third, it talks about past abuse and sexual arassment/abuse (sorta? it doesn't really go very far, but it's certainly attempted) and yeah. I don't know if the reaction to it is accurate or realistic at all, so please, if you see something off about it, tell me! I want this to be as accurate as possible, so if ur comfortable with telling me something that I should do different (like, as a survivor) let me know! Other than that, enjoy!

The next several weeks were filled with studying and stressing over finals. The tests were rapidly approaching and not one person was ready for them, despite the warning that was given well in advance.

John, Eliza, and Alexander were all in the school’s library, studying for Washington’s final, which Alex had to take the next day, but the other two didn’t have to take until the day after that.

Alex was face down on the table, making unintelligible noises. He felt a hand on his back and jumped, only to see that it was Eliza.

“You okay, Alex? You’ve been making that noise for a while now.” They had a look of concern on their face, and Alex smiled.

“I’m fine. I just can’t retain any more information right now. I need a break.”

John flopped back in his chair and sighed. “Thank God, I’ve been wanting to stop for the past hour,” he said.

Eliza looked at him, puzzled. “But John, we’ve only been here an hour.”

John lifted an eyebrow at them. “Your point? Come on, let’s go to lunch, the bell’s gonna ring in like two minutes anyway.” Eliza and Alex gave each other a look and then shrugged.

“Yeah, why not. I could eat,” Alex said, gathering his things.

The three made their way downstairs, hoping to get to the cafeteria early. Halfway down the steps, the bell rang, causing each of them to jump.

“So much for being the first ones there,” Eliza muttered as students pushed by. Alex sighed in agreement.

They entered the cafeteria and made their way to their usual table, but Alex stopped when he noticed two people there that weren’t usually there.

John turned back and raised an eyebrow. “You okay dude?”

Alex nodded and pointed to the table, saying, “Yeah, but who are those two at the table?”

John looked back over at the table. “What’re you- oh! It’s Theo and Burr!”

“I recognize one of those names vaguely. Burr’s the mashed potato guy, right?” Alex asked.

Eliza covered their mouth with a hand as they started laughing. John glared at them. Sorry,“ they said, barely managing to get the words out through their laughter. “But, you told him about the mashed potato incident?”

“Not entirely,” John muttered. “Just that Burr is super unopinionated and that he shouldn’t eat the potatoes.”

Alex turned to Eliza and asked, “What happened with the potatoes?”

“No,” John moaned.

Eliza ignored him and started answering Alex’s question. “So John was kinda new here, right? And he really only knew Burr, so he asks him about the mashed potatoes-”

“Nooo,” John said again, louder.

“Because John had only been to public school before, and from his experience, public schools did not have good potatoes. And Burr just kinda looks at him, shrugs, and goes back to his book. No one else at the table really wants to answer the question, because trying the potatoes is just a part of being a student y’know? Speaking of which, I don’t think you’ve had the potatoes here yet have you? Anyway-“

John hid his head in his hands. “Kill me.”

Eliza’s smile widened. “John gets in line, gets the potatoes. When he sits down, he looks Burr straight in the eye and takes a bite. And you’ve seen the mashed potatoes, right?” Alex slowly nodded. “Yeah. Somehow, back then, they were _worse_.”

“You say ‘back then’ as if it wasn’t last year,” John said, face still hidden.

Eliza waved their hands at him. Then someone said, “Hey, could you move? You’re kind of in the middle of the walkway.”

“Oh! Sorry.” Eliza moved to the side and the other two followed. After the person went past, they all started making their way to the table again. Eliza continued the story. “Right. So John takes a bite. And his face contorts. He rushes to the nearest trash can and everyone thinks he’s just going to spit them out, but then he throws up.”

John groaned loudly and people nearby looked over at him weirdly. Alex pulled a face. Eliza nodded gravely.

“I took him to the bathroom and held his hair back. We’ve been basically best friends ever since.”

“What do you mean, ‘basically’?” John asked, looking offended. “I have not done the shit I have done for us to just ‘basically’ be best friends.”

Eliza rolled their eyes fondly. “Fine, yes, we’re best friends. We’re like mega best friends.”

John nodded his approval. Alex smiled but his stomach fluttered. He just loved them both so much. How could he tell them though, without ruining everything?

* * *

 

Two weeks later, school was officially out. Summer had arrived in full swing, and the whole gang was at the Schuyler’s house. Maria was on Angelica’s lap, Laf and Herc were lying on the floor, Alex was sprawled across an armchair with Eliza perched on the arm and John sitting in front of it. Peggy was hanging off the back of the couch that Martha had claimed. Theodosia was laying down with their head on Burr’s lap. Even Madison and Jefferson were there, tucked into a corner.

It was oddly serene, Alex thought, being surrounded by people and heat and silence other than the buzzing of the bugs through the screen door. He wished he could live in that moment forever. But he knew that all good things must come to an end, and so it did, when he decided to open his mouth and say, “Hey, can I talk to you  guys for a second?” to Eliza and John.

They looked at each other and back at Alex and shrugged. “Sure. Let’s go to my room,” Eliza suggested. He stood and led the way, and Alex felt like he was buzzing.

Once they had all settled down onto the bed, Eliza prompted, “So. What’d you want to talk about Alex?”

Alex swallowed and looked down, avoiding both of their eyes.

After a few moments where Alex still hadn’t said anything, John began, “Alex, what’s wrong? Because you can tell us any-”

Alex cut him off and said, “What are we?”

John stopped in his tracks, looking stunned. Eliza did too and Alex rushed to clarify. “I mean- are we friends?”

“Well of course we’re friends Alex, but-” Eliza said.

“No, that’s not what I mean. I mean, is that all we are? Or are we… more? I know how I feel for you both, but I do not know how you feel for me, and I’ve noticed that we’re all really much more affectionate with each other than what is typically expected of friends. And I just need to know, because it is slowly eating me alive, and I cannot deal with not knowing.” Alex sighed and felt his face heating up.

Eliza’s eyebrows had shot up, giving him a look of surprise. John was blushing and trying to look like he wasn’t.

Alexander stared at them both, trying and failing to hold eye contact. After several minutes of this (it was at least 4, he had counted) Alex cleared his throat and said, “Well? If you do not feel the same way that is fine, but I would still like an answer. And if that answer is no, then I hope that we could all continue being friends.”

Eliza looked like he was pondering this for a moment. Then he and John shared a look and Eliza asked, “Alex, could you excuse us for a moment? Just so that John and I can discuss this in private. It’s a big decision, you see.”

Alexander nodded vigorously. “Yes, of course. I’ll be out in the hall when you are done.” Alex stood and made his way out of the door, heart pounding and dreading the answer.

* * *

 

Once the door had shut behind Alexander, John and Eliza turned toward each other.

“You don’t have to, you know,” Eliza said softly. John rolled his eyes.

“Of course I don’t _have_ to. That’s not the issue here,” John said.

“No, it’s isn’t is it?” Eliza muttered to himself. “It’s a question of whether or not you’re ready for a relationship, isn’t it?”

John cracked a smile. “You know me so well.”

“No one would blame you. Alex wouldn’t even be mad. And you don’t owe him an explanation if you say no.”

“Yeah…” John trailed off and bit his lip. “But, I do care about him. And you. I care about you guys so much. But after… y’know, _him_ , I don’t know if I can put myself in such a vulnerable position again.”

Eliza took his hand gently, and John noted how warm and soft it was. “I understand that. And Alex will too, if you choose to tell him. But just know that neither of us would do anything to hurt you. And if anything happens, we can talk about it. But the choice is yours.” He gave John’s hand a gentle squeeze and began to withdraw it, but John held on.

“What about you? Is this something that you want?” John asked, eyebrows furrowed.

Eliza smiled. “Absolutely. I’m only worried about you.”

John huffed. “I know.” He leaned forward until his head was resting on Eliza’s shoulder and groaned. “Why must romance be so hard?”

Eliza patted his back. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s confusing for everyone.”

“I hope so. That’d be pretty validating,” John mumbled. Eliza chuckled at that, his shoulders shaking with it.

“Look at you, using big words,” he said.

John shoved him back playfully and sat up. “You’re bullying me.”

Eliza struggled to hold back a smile. Then he turned serious again. “But really, what’re you gonna do?”

John sighed. He thought about the last time he was in a relationship. About Charles. About how that had ended.

_They were in John’s room, and John wasn’t comfortable. Charles’ hands were in places that John wasn’t quite sure he wanted them to be; on his hips, on his thighs, grabbing his ass, and slowly moving towards the waistband of his pants._

_John broke away from the heated kiss they had been locked in and pushed Charles away gently._

_“I- I don’t think I’m ready for that yet,” he said, hoping that it would be enough for Charles to let it go._

_“What do you mean you ‘aren’t ready’?” Lee asked angrily._

_“I mean I don’t want to,” John said, still holding the other boy back._

_“Is something the matter with you?” Lee asked. “You’re supposed to want this, aren’t you? Aren’t you a man? Or are you really just some bitch?”_

_“I’m not-” John began, whispering, but Charles cut him off._

_“I always knew you were some sort of pansy, but this is ridiculous.” Charles shook his head in disgust. He moved back over to John, trying once more to resume his actions, but John pushed him back roughly._

_“I_ said _,” John began. “That I don’t want to. And you need to stop or get the fuck out of my house.” He was suddenly so much angrier than he had ever been at Lee. All of the little things, all of the derogatory comments and names, all of the not-so-playful teasing, piled up and John had had enough._

_“Finally growing some fucking balls are you? Maybe you could come over here and put them to good use.” And that was the straw that broke the camel’s back._

_John stood, suddenly towering over the boy who was still sitting on his bed. “Get out.”_

_“Wh-” Charles began._

_“I said get out._ Now _.” John was not having it anymore. He was not going to take it._

_“Fine. Don’t expect me to take you back though,” Lee said, snatching up his jacket and stomping downstairs. As soon as his door slammed, John fell down on the bed, suddenly feeling so weak and tired._

_Before he knew it he was sobbing into his pillow. What was going to happen now? Lee would kill him. There’d be no making up from this. John should’ve just gone along with it, he should've just let Charles do what he wanted. At some point, Lafayette had come into his room and was patting his back, murmuring things like, “There, there,” and “It’s okay mon ami, just let it all out.”_

“John?” Eliza was staring at him, worried. Shit. He’d spaced out. He’d worried him.

“Yeah, I’m here. Sorry.”

Eliza’s smile was relieved. John just felt guilty. “Were you thinking about him?”

John went to shake his head, then stopped. Eliza knew him too well, he wouldn’t buy it, so John just nodded instead. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s okay to think about these things. Just, don’t dwell on it too much, and know that nothing that happened with him was your fault. _Nothing,_ ” Eliza added when John opened his mouth to protest.

John sighed. “If you say so.” They were silent for a bit. John broke it by saying, “I think I’ve made a decision.”

Eliza lifted an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Yeah. I think I’m gonna try.”

Eliza’s face split into a wide grin and he hugged John around the middle. “Let’s go get Alexander! I think he’s been waiting for long enough.” John gave him his own crooked smile and nodded.

They got up and went to the door together. Alex jumped off the wall he’d been leaning on and John smiled.

“I trust you’ve made a decision?” He asked, looking apprehensive and prepared for a rejection.

“We have,” Eliza answered.

“And we have decided that we do want to date you,” John said.

Alex looked stunned before he threw himself into a hug, arms around each of their necks, which was a bit awkward with the height differences between each of them, but none of them seemed to care.

When Alex pulled back, he looked between the and asked, “May I kiss you? Both of you?”

John and Eliza nodded at the same time and Alexander’s grin widened. He pecked each of them on their lips, and John noticed that Alex’s were hot and chapped.

“But there’s something I think you should know, before anything gets too serious,” John said, fiddling with his hands and looking down at the floor.

“What is it?” Alex asked, voice full of concern.

“The last time I was in a relationship, it… wasn’t very healthy. And that, coupled with my dad… I might be a little weird about things. So if you wanna back out now, that’s fine-”

“Why would I want to do that?” Alex asked. “John, I care for you so so much. I wouldn’t leave you because of something that had happened to you in your past. in fact, I want to help you in any way that I can. And if there is anything, and I mean _anything_ that I do that makes you uncomfortable, tell me.” Alex took his hand and John burst into tears. He threw his arms around Alexander and cried, so thankful that he was able to know this wonderful boy in front of him.

Alex slowly circled his arms around John and they rocked together, Eliza looking at them fondly.

When John had stopped crying he stood straight and wiped his face. Then he laughed and said, “You guys are so great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are finally together! idk exactly what I'm gonna do now, but I do have an ending in mind, so I'm just gonna try to work towards that. Also, since school is starting soon (tomorrow) I'll be dealing with that along with work, so I won't have quite as much time to write as I have, so please forgive me if updates become even more scarce. My tumblr is hckin-nerd feel free to hmu! Also, comments and kudos are always, ALWAYS appreciated. Til next time!


	11. Special Delivery!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adrienne! Also, Alex has some Trans Angst so watch out for that in the third part ig. And sorry for not updating in a month and a half I just had zero inspiration, but also, time isn't real, so hey.

Several days after Eliza, John, and Alex had sorted out their feelings and _finally_ gotten together (there was a lot of groaning as everyone passed around money and Angelica wore a smug grin, and several shovel talks had been given to all three of them) Lafayette came rushing downstairs with a huge grin on their face.

The three ‘newlyweds’ as Martha (Manning, that is) teasingly called them were at the table eating popsicles. They looked up and Alex asked, “What’s got you so happy Laf?”

They bounced up and down and could barely contain themself. “Oh it is wonderful! From France- Adrienne! She’ll be coming! Two days!” They squealed and wrapped their arms around Eliza, who was closest. She looked puzzled but patted Lafayette’s arms all the same. John managed to contain his laughter.

“While I’m sure this is lovely news, I don’t think any of us know what you’re talking about, Laf,” Eliza said.

“Oh! Yes, of course, I am not making any sense, let me explain.” Laf let go of Eliza and sat down in the remaining seat, setting their phone on the table. “My friend Adrienne- my very best friend from when I was a child and before I lost my parents. She is coming to America! And she said that she talked to George and Martha and that she would be staying here until her mother and father get settled. She will be living here with us in New York and going to school with us! Isn’t this wonderful news!”

“Oh yeah, you went to visit her last year, right?” John asked, taking a bite from his popsicle. He shuddered at the cold that spread through his teeth.

“Yes! And she will be here in two days.” Laf grinned for a moment more before their expression became horrified. “Two days. I need to prepare, oh my god, she is coming in two days and we are not ready!” They held their head in their hands and groaned. “Oh no….”

John patted their back and said, “Hey, don’t worry about it Laf. I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you no matter what. You guys are best friends right?” Laf nodded. “Then don’t worry about it. She’ll be excited no matter what.”

Lafayette took a deep breath and smiled. “Yes. Okay. Thank you, John.”

“Laf…” Alex asked. They looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “Where is she gonna sleep?”

Lafayette scrunched their eyebrows in concentration, then their face lit up a second later. “She can sleep in my room! We shared a bed all the time when we were younger, why should it be any different now?”

“Well, you’re both bigger now. And if you sleep in the same room as your best friend, you tend to chatter instead of sleep,” John reasoned.

Laf rolled their eyes. “Whatever, _Johnathan_ , I’m sure George and Martha have it figured out anyway. So _casse toi_.”

“Okay, _first of all_ , that’s not even my name. It is literally just ‘John’. Second-” Alex interrupted the rest of John’s sentence with a scandalized gasp.

“Laf! There are _children_ here!” Alex then proceed to cover Eliza’s ears, making her turn and glare at Alexander.

“I’m not even the youngest one here, Alexander. And doesn’t that just mean ‘go away’?”

“In a sense, yes,” Alex said, taking his hands away from Eliza’s head.

Laf grinned and said, “What it _really_ means is ‘fuck off’.”

As they said this, Martha walked into the room. “ _Gilbert!_ ” she said, both looking and sounding scandalized. She then sighed and said, “Nevermind. Just try not to curse anymore around me, okay?”

“Yes ma’am.” Laf hung their head and blushed. John snorted but managed to pass it off as a cough.

“Now, Laf, your friend is coming soon, and I think we’ll put her in John’s room and we can bring out the other half of Alexander’s bunk bed. Then John, you and Alex would sleep in Alex’s room. Is that alright with you two?” Martha turned around and looked at John and Alex who looked at each other.

“I call bottom bunk!” Alex yelled.

“Aw man.” John slumped in his chair and pouted. Eliza put her hand on his arm.

“We have two days, so everyone, let’s get cleaning!” Martha said enthusiastically. This was met with groaning and a scooting of chairs as they all –even Eliza –went to start.

* * *

 

The day that Adrienne finally arrived was hectic. Everyone was moving everywhere. Hercules was over helping Lafayette and George move the bunk bed into Alexander’s room, Alex and Eliza were doing last-minute touch-ups, John was making sure that his room was cleared out, and Martha was at the airport to get her.

Adrienne and Martha didn’t return until nearly 7 o’clock that evening.

Almost as soon as the two walked through the door, Lafayette screamed, “ _Adrienne!_ ” and drew her into a hug, which she happily returned, babbling in French about how much she’d missed them, at least according to Alexander. Eliza had never taken French, opting for Italian instead.

When Laf had finally let go of Adrienne, they led her forward to the rest of them, introducing them all one by one, starting with George and ending with Alexander.

Adrienne smiled and gave a small wave, then said, “Bonjour! My English is not so good, je suis désolé.I hope we can get along. And my, ah, my…” Adrienne paused as she cast about for the word she wanted, then her face lit up as she found it. “Nouns! They are she.”

She smiled brightly at all of them, and Laf quietly corrected her with, “ _Pronouns,_ mon cher.” Then they grinned as they pointed to Hercules and said, “Tu le vois? Il est mon beau tailleur.” Adrienne smiled at them and Alex grinned as well. Eliza forgot that he was fluent in French sometimes.

Dinner that night was much more raucous and energetic than Eliza had ever experienced at the Washington’s. Not to say that it was a bad thing. In fact, the change was welcome. They sat between John and Alex, with Laf, Herc, and Adrienne all squeezed between two chairs, and Martha and George smiling at each other across the table.

The atmosphere was warm, the open door letting in the summer air and the sounds of crickets chirping. Eliza breathed in and Alex squeezed their hand under the table.

“You okay?” he asked, and Eliza’s smiled widened into a grin.

“Perfect,” they said, and knowing, in that moment, that it was true.

* * *

 

Seeing as it was Adrienne’s first night, they all slept in the living room, Eliza and Hercules spending the night. Alex smiled. It was the first time that this many of his friends had all slept in one room. They had almost gone to the Schuylers’, but Adrienne had wanted to wait to meet the others.

When changing, Adrienne self-consciously came out of the bathroom, hunched over and arms around her chest.

When Alex asked why, she nervously straightened up and said, quietly, “I uh. I am… trans?” She looked to Laf as if making sure that that was the right word, and they nodded. She looked back to Alex chewing her lip and he perked up.

“So am I! It’s on the opposite end of the spectrum, of course, but yeah.” Adrienne tilted her head, confused, and then Alexander remembered, ‘She barely speaks English, you idiot!’ so he repeated himself in French.

She made a face of realization and nodded, smiling again. Alex walked into the bathroom to change then, wrestling his binder off and taking a deep breath.

He looked at himself in the mirror and frowned. It wasn’t quite so bad when he was binding, but he was so… _curvy_. Not so much in the chest, but in the hips. He put his hands on them and pushed, as if that could make them smaller, narrower.

When that failed, he sighed and turned away. A voice in his head nagged _not a real man, not a real man, not a real man,_ but Alex forced himself to remember John’s words from a few months ago. _“You are a man because you say you are, not because of your body.”_

Alex took another deep breath and finished changing, walking out to let Hercules in.

They played Never Have I Ever again, and Alex lost this time. It was much easier to get out when there were more people playing.

When they all finally laid down to sleep, Alex, Eliza, and John were all curled up together, whispering to each other quietly.

“Hey,” Alex said to them, during a lull in which the other two may have been falling asleep. He heard them grumble in response to let him know they were listening and then said, “I like you guys a lot,” thinking it too early for ‘I love you’ even if that was how he felt.

He felt John and Eliza shift closer to him and he closed his eyes, unable to keep from grinning from ear to ear as he slowly fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed that (admittedly subpar) chapter! Tu le vois? Il est mon beau tailleur.= You see him? He is my beautiful tailor. If you actually know french let me know if that is wrong and if so, what it's supposed to be! hmu on tumblr hckin-nerd and we can cry about the founding fathers together idk


	12. And Peggy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This would've been up sooner, but our wifi was down, but it's fixed now! Enjoy!

After breakfast the next morning (which Lafayette had _insisted_ on making), the group made their way over to the Schuylers’. It was simply an added bonus that Maria had spent the night there the night before.

Peggy answered the door and their jaw dropped when they saw Adrienne. They promptly shut the door, leaving all of them to be extremely confused. Eliza rolled their eyes and then opened the door, getting weird looks until the others remembered, _Oh yeah, Eliza lives here too._ They looked over to Peggy who was on the steps and raised an eyebrow, receiving a panicked shrug in response.

Eliza simply rolled their eyes again and went upstairs to fetch Angie and Maria. They knocked first, giving them time to separate in case they were doing… anything. When neither answered, Eliza slowly opened the door and found both of them asleep. They grinned to themself and snapped a quick photo before pouncing on the bed and screeching, “Angie get up!”

Maria jumped and fell off of the bed while Angelica simply groaned and pulled the covers over her head, dislodging Eliza. Eliza, undeterred, starting poking their sister’s arm. “Angie, angie, angie, angie! You gotta get up! Lafayette’s friend is here from France and Peggy is being weird and you have to meet her, her name is Adrienne and she’s so nice, but she barely speaks English so I don’t know what she’s saying half the time, but you know French so you can understand her! And you have to get up Angie, please.”

Angelica groaned and pushed off the blanket, sitting up. “Fine. I need to put my leg on first though.” Eliza clapped their hands together then walked to the other side of the bed to help Maria up.

“Sorry about that ,” they said, smiling sheepishly. Maria waved the statement away with her hand.

“It’s fine,” she said. “I didn’t exactly appreciate it, but it’s fine.”

Eliza nodded and then went to go back downstairs.

“They’re coming! Angelica just has to put on her leg and Maria fell off of the bed, but they’re on their way!”

Lafayette translated for Adrienne and she smiled. They all went to the living room, and Eliza turned on some cartoons, leaning against John behind them.

They saw Peggy dragging Alex away and looked at Alex questioningly. He shrugged and mouthed _I’ll tell you later_ and Eliza nodded, settling back into John and watching ninja turtles.

* * *

 

As Eliza was flipping through channels, trying to find something interesting, Peggy came up to Alex and whispered, “Alex? Can I talk to you?”

Alex looked up at them, confused, but he nodded all the same.

When he didn’t move, they clarified, “Like… in private?”

“Oh! Yes, yes of course, so sorry. Where are we going?”

“My room.” Alex nodded and followed them, mouthing _I’ll tell you later_ when Eliza looked at him questioningly.

Once in Peggy’s room, with the door shut, Peggy said, “So.”

“So,” Alex parroted.

“Adrienne’s gonna be living with you guys, huh?” Alex nodded slowly, not sure where the conversation was going yet. “She’s really pretty,” Peggy said off-handedly, or at least _trying_ to be off handed, but they were failing miserably as their voice climbed in pitch.

Alex nodded again, still not quite understanding where Peggy was going with this. “And she’ll be going to school with us in the Fall,” Alex said. “Listen, all of these are true things, but where are you going with this, Peggy?”

Peggy opened their mouth to reply, but before they could say anything, Angelica poked her head into the room and said, “Hey, come on you two, everyone’s downstairs. What’re you doing up here?”

“Talking,” Peggy said, voice high and rushed. It wasn’t a lie but they had made it sound so suspicious.

Angelica squinted at them and frowned. “Alright…. Well come on!” She left, leaving the door open and Alex shrugged and followed her down the stairs. Whatever Peggy had to tell him, they could say later.

* * *

 

Peggy did end up telling him later, although it was much later than he’d originally thought. So much later, in fact, that he’d forgotten about it.

It was mid-August, and Alex had become very busy after the Fourth of July, taking a few online classes so he would be a junior rather than a sophomore in the upcoming school year, and getting a summer job at the antique store a few blocks away.

He was working on a paper for his English class one night, John’s snoring a comfortable and steady sound in the background, when his computer made a noise from Skype. He checked the message and saw that it was from Peggy.

**constantly screaming, never ceasing:** alex I may or may not need help

**I give a fuck about an oxford comma:** With?

**constantly screaming, never ceasing:** uh….

**constantly screaming, never ceasing:** relationship things???

**I give a fuck about an oxford comma:**??

**I give a fuck about an oxford comma:** Aren’t you aro?

**constantly screaming, never ceasing:** I mean, things can change

**constantly screaming, never ceasing:** either way im still aro-spec

**constantly screaming, never ceasing:** but that’s not the point here!

**I give a fuck about an oxford comma:** Then what is the point??

**I give a fuck about an oxford comma:** Please, I am so confused.

**constantly screaming, never ceasing:** the point is that Adrienne is just really nice and funny and pretty?????

**constantly screaming, never ceasing:** and I???? Can’t???? Deal With It???

**constantly screaming, never ceasing:** like, the only relationship I ever had was in preschool when I wanted a cupcake from this guy steven, so I kissed his cheek and he was my boyfriend for the rest of the day

**constantly screaming, never ceasing:** but idk how actual relationships work???

**constantly screaming, never ceasing:** help

**I give a fuck about an oxford comma:** Help her with her English.

**constantly screaming, never ceasing:**?

**constantly screaming, never ceasing:** explain

**I give a fuck about an oxford comma:** This gives you an excuse to be closer to her, and, I don’t know, be really cutesy and stuff. And maybe she likes you too. This could help, maybe. Or just ask her out. How much French do you know?

**constantly screaming, never ceasing:** idk, enough to hold a conversation and not have it be super awkward

**constantly screaming, never ceasing:** I guess I’m fluent??

**I give a fuck about an oxford comma:** That’s good. So if you do decide to ask her out, you won’t be completely lost. And if you don’t, you can still talk/flirt with her in her native language.

**constantly screaming, never ceasing:** oh.

**constantly screaming, never ceasing:** those are actually good ideas…

**constantly screaming, never ceasing:** thanks Al!

**I give a fuck about an oxford comma:** Don’t call me that.

**constantly screaming, never ceasing is offline.**

Alex shook his head and sighed in exasperation. The youngest Schuyler could really be a handful sometimes.

* * *

 

“Eliza, holy _fuck!_ ” John laughed at Alex as he burst into their girlfriend’s room, screaming about something or another, but that was nothing new.

Eliza rolled her eyes and scooched over on the bed to make room for the two boys. “What is it _this_ time, dear?”

“I thought I was dear,” John protested.

“No, you’re _darling_ ,” Eliza explained carefully. “Do you know why Alex is screaming?”

John shook his head. “He wouldn’t tell me, just said that we needed to be with you.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet,” Eliza cooed and John leaned over Alex to kiss her on the forehead.

“Uh, hello? Possibly very important and shocking news here?” Alex said, clearly not taking kindly to being ignored.

“Yes, sorry dear. Go ahead.”

Alex grinned. “It’s about your sibling,” he started off, and both Eliza and John leaned forward, interest piqued. “And a certain pretty French girl,” he added.

“What about them?” John asked, hardly bearing the suspense.

“Well, I heard, they’ve got a special place in their heart for said French girl. And they came to me last night, in their hour of need.”

“I thought they were aromantic,” Eliza mumbled to herself.

“That’s what I said! They said that they’re still aro-spec, but they didn’t explain any further, and I didn’t want to pry. Well, I did, but I wasn’t _going_  to, because that’s rude.”

John snorted and said, “Alex, when do you ever care about being rude?”

“When it involves people I care about, my dearest Laurens,” Alexander replied, looking up at John.

“Well, you’re rude to me all the time, does that mean that you don’t care about me?” John asked, raising an eyebrow.

Alexander looked him up and down critically, then said, “I think I can make an exception, just for you, John.”

John put a hand over his heart in mock offense. “Wow. So rude. Do you see this, Eliza?”

Eliza nodded sagely. “I do John. I really do.”

“Betrayed, by my own boyfriend,” John continued, shaking his head sadly.  As he did, he leaned closer to Alex and suddenly grabbed his sides, tickling him.

Alexander, not expecting this, let out a high-pitched shriek and started flailing to get away from John’s hands, but Eliza joined in, running her hands over Alex stomach, and he squirmed, eventually rolling off of the bed. He held up a hand as he caught his breath, and once he could speak a little bit, he said, “You guys… are so… rude.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u enjoyed that, I'm currently writing the next chapter, so hopefully that'll be up soon, and feel free to hmu on tumblr [hckin-nerd](http://hckin-nerd.tumblr.com/) (thanks to [lafayettes_baguette](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lafayettes_baguette/pseuds/lafayettes_baguette) to letting me know how to do this)


	13. Back to School!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex gets misgendered, John punches someone, and Charles Lee is an asshole. All of these things are directly correlated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I thought this was gonna be the last chapter, but then I realized that I wanted to do another thing that would not go at all, so next chapter will (hopefully) be the end. Also, about being gone so long, I really have no excuse, and I make no promises about next time. Sooooo. Yeah. Enjoy ??????

Before John knew it, it was time for school to start back up. Alex was now a junior along with him and Eliza, thanks to the online classes he’d taken over the summer. But John wasn’t ready. Even as they walked through the front doors and got their schedules, even as they walked to their first period classes, as those classes started, as the day went on, John just wasn’t _ready_.

He wasn’t ready for the stress of all that work to be brought on, or to have to deal with people he hated, he wasn’t ready for any of it.

But it didn’t matter that he wasn’t ready, because time moved on, and school started anyway, and he went to all of his classes feeling slightly queasy.

At lunch, a big part of why he wasn’t ready confronted him. Charles Lee. Well, not him specifically, but it was targeted at him. At first.

John was walking past, talking with Alex and Eliza, when he heard a loud voice say, “Wow, hard to believe somebody actually wants to be around that bitch. So which one of you’s sucking his dick, huh?” John tried to ignore it and keep walking, but both Alex and Eliza stopped, because the comment was clearly aimed at the three of them.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Alex asked, voice shaking, and still facing the way they had all been walking.

“I _said_ ,” Lee began, standing up, “which one of you is sucking his dick? Is it both of you? Or does he even have one? I mean, he was always acting like a little girl before, and I doubt anything has changed, so-”

Alex turned around sharply. “Shut the fuck up! What right do you have to talk about him like that?”

John tiredly put a hand on his shoulder. “Alex, please, just let it go. It’s not a b-”

“Don’t say it isn’t a big deal, John! I will _not_ allow him to stand there and insult you!” As Alex spoke, his voice climbed in both volume and pitch.

Charles Lee just laughed, saying, “Aww, getting your little _girlfriend_ to defend you? I knew you were pathetic, but this? This is some next level shit right here.”

At the word ‘girlfriend’ John stiffened and turned his head toward where the other boy was standing.

“Take it back,” He said, removing his hand from Alex’s shoulder and curling it into a fist.

“Or what? You’ve never had the balls to do anything other than bitch and cry about things.”

From the corner of his eye, John saw Alex advance and Eliza holding him back. She hadn’t accounted for John doing anything, though, and he was striding forward, and before he could think about what he was doing, Lee was on the floor, nose bloody, and John was standing over him, breathing heavily and clenching and unclenching his fist.

“Let’s get out of here,” Eliza muttered, trying to tug John back by his hand. Before John could make himself move, however, Washington came striding toward the group.

“What is the meaning of this?” He yelled. When no one answered, he turned to Burr and said, “Aaron, could you take Mr. Lee to the nurse’s office? And when he is done there, see to it that he gets to my classroom.” He turned to Alex, Eliza, and John and said, “You three, come with me.” He turned and started striding quickly to his classroom, leaving the three of them to hurry behind.

Once in the empty classroom with the door closed, Washington turned to them. “Tell me what happened.”

They all started trying to explain at once, voices mixing into a confusing mess, until Washington shushed them. “Alex. Tell me what happened.”

“It was my fault, sir. John tried to tell me to leave it alone, but I wouldn’t listen to him. And I was the one who engaged Lee first. None of this would have happened if it weren’t for me, please don’t punish John.”

Washington sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Son, I can’t let him-”

“Don’t call me that.”

Washington sighed again. “I can’t just let him get away with no punishment at all. He punched another student! Listen, son-”

“I’m _not_ your son.” Alexander’s jaw was clenched and he was shaking, just slightly. John wanted to reach out and grab his hand, but didn’t feel like it would be appropriate.

“And according to you, I can’t let you get off scot-free either.”

“John was provoked,” Eliza said, voice small, but firm. Washington raised an eyebrow in response. When he made no other move, Eliza continued, saying, “Lee made the first move. We were walking past and he made… some very rude comments about John. And he just kept saying these things.” Her voice trembled slightly on the words. “I was about ready to punch him too.”

Washington nodded. “I understand. All the same, John, you can’t go around punching people. There are times when you must be the bigger person.”

John nodded at his feet.

“John’s always the bigger person though! He can’t be the mature one all the time!” Alex burst out.

“Alex, son, calm d-”

“Call me son again, I dare you! You know, my own mother never got to call me that! My. Own. _Mother_. So what makes you think you have the right, huh? How-”

“Alex!” Washington yelled, effectively cutting the boy off. “Go wait outside.”

“But-”

“ _Now._ ”

Alex hesitated for a moment, as if he were about to protest, and then turned and left, letting the door slam behind him. John could have sworn he saw tears in his eyes as he left, but he wouldn’t mention it.

Washington sat still for a moment, composing himself. When he was calm(er) he looked up and said to John and Eliza, “I don’t have the authority to decide your punishment myself. However, I can talk to Ms. Shepherd, and try to get her to at least lighten it. I’ll take you down there right now, and I’ll bring Charles Lee as soon as he is done with the nurse. Okay?”

The two of them nodded mutely. Once they were outside of the classroom, Alex stood, trying to discreetly wipe his eyes. It wasn’t working, but John still didn’t comment on it, only taking Alex’s hand once he was done wiping his face. Eliza took John’s other hand, and they followed Washington to the principal’s office.

They actually weren’t there for very long. Charles Lee was a very troublesome student, so it wasn’t hard to convince Ms. Shepherd that he had engaged them first. Eliza and Alex reluctantly repeated what exactly had been said. John didn’t trust is voice to speak just then.

The hard part was convincing her to lighten John’s punishment. It took some convincing, but eventually she decided against expulsion, or even suspension, and gave John two days of detention, along with Alex, to be served the next week. It was actually Charles Lee who helped convince her funnily enough.

Washington had gone to get him, and when he came back, with Lee in tow, the boy sneered, making another comment under his breath. Unfortunately (for him) he wasn’t good at being quiet, so the principal heard exactly what was said, and gave him a three-day suspension on the spot.

When they got home, Alex went right up to his room and shut the door. Adrienne’s parents had finally gotten settled, so she was no longer living with them, and Alex and John had their own rooms again. Although, they didn’t always keep it like that, having gotten used to sharing a room over the summer.

But John respected his privacy and went into his own room, and flopping down onto the mattress. He was so, so tired.

The first day of school, and he’d already managed to get himself into trouble Amazing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave kudos and comments, they make my day! Also, feel free to yell at me on tumblr, [hckin-nerd](http://hckin-nerd.tumblr.com/)!! See you guys next time! (which will hopefully be soon, but as I said earlier, no promises)


	14. I Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter! I really hope you guys enjoy it, and I'll see you at the end!

It had been nearly a month since the Lee Incident (which is what they called it now, thanks to Peggy). And a fairly uneventful one as well. Just when Eliza had almost begun to miss having drama in his life, Peggy (of course it was Peggy, who else would it be) did something that was definitely very interesting.

“Eliza!” They had bust into his room after school one day, yelling. “I need your help.”

“What with?” Eliza asked, slowly closing his book.

“I’m asking Adrienne out today. What kind of flowers do you think she likes?” They asked, chewing on their bottom lip.

“Hmm.” Eliza considered the question for a moment. “Something purple.” He declared. “Ooh! What about dahlias?”

“What? What are dahlias?” Peggy asked.

“Y’know, dahlias, the little fluffy ones. Kind of like marigolds,” Eliza tried explaining. Peggy still looked confused. Eliza rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone, searching up a picture to  show his sibling.

“Ohh, those,” they exclaimed.

“Yeah! I’m gonna look up some color symbolisms.”

After several minutes of searching (and very many useless articles, mostly concerning weddings) Eliza had found something useful. “Blue, purple, and white.

“Blue is for a fresh start or a big change, and starting a relationship would be a big change in both of your lives, right? Purple is for kindness and grace. And white, a symbol for staying focused and pure. Mainly there because they’d look nice, but aren’t necessary,” Eliza read the symbolizations off of the article.

“Okay. Now where do you suggest we get these?” Peggy asked, raising an eyebrow.

“There’s a florist a little ways away. We can beg Angie to drive us,” Eliza suggested.

Peggy stood still for a moment, then bolted out of the room, Eliza following, both of them calling out their sister’s name.

It had taken some wheedling, but eventually, Angelica conceded. At the florists, they weren’t able to find any white dahlias, and so went without them. Peggy ended up getting 10 of both blue and purple. They also managed to convince Angelica to drive them to Adrienne’s house.

Eliza and Angelica were waiting outside the front of the house while Peggy went up to the door and knocked, hiding the flowers behind their back. The two watched as Adrienne’s mother answered the door, and then as Peggy and Adrienne talked. They assumed the end results were positive, seeing as Adrienne picked Peggy up and spun them around, and when Peggy came back to the car they were grinning from ear to ear.

Eliza and Angie congratulated their sibling and they were all laughing and smiling as Angie drove. It was a good day.

Of course the universe had to be the little shit that it is and make Eliza’s life just a bit too interesting.

* * *

 

_Just a few more words. A couple more pages. I’ll just finish this one part and then I’ll go to bed. Oh look, the sun’s rising. Shit._

This had been Alex’s life for the past week. Or was it two? He couldn’t remember. However long it was, he hadn’t gotten any sleep, between working at the antique shop and worrying about his project for Italian and just his general way of living. It felt like he barely had time to breathe, let alone sleep, or much anything else. But he would be presenting that day and then his life could go back to how it usually was, where he at least got a few hours most nights.

Walking into school, he struggled to contain his yawns and look as not-tired as possible. Which, all things considering, wasn’t very much.

He could feel concerned eyes on him and eventually, Maria asked, “Are you okay dude? You look like death.”

Alex waved off the comment with his hand. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine, just- just a lil sleepy. I’ll go to sleep as soon as I get home, though. So no worries. Nooo worries.”

Maria just looked at him with a strange look on her face and nodded slowly. Alex ignored this in favor of glaring over to where Charles Lee was sitting, the asshole. He wasn’t even doing anything at the moment. But everything he did made Alex want to punch him in his stupid face. _Although,_ he reflected, _if I do anything now, I’m likely to get my ass beat._

He decided against starting shit.

For now.

He had more important things to worry about anyway. Like how he’d get through a single sentence without yawning. Or that suspicious look Eliza was giving him.

Luckily, the bell rang, allowing Alex to sneak off and run to class.

Despite how tired he was, and how boring and easy the class was, Alexander, somehow, stayed awake.

Honestly, Alex didn’t know how he’d get through the rest of the day without crashing. And he had Italian last. Perfect.

At lunch, he didn’t eat anything, much to Eliza and John’s (quite vocal) disapproval.

“Alex, c’mon, please, you haven’t eaten anything today,” John wheedled, trying to get Alex to take an apple, at least, despite Alex’s many refusals.

“No really, I’m fine, really, and besides, I feel like I’m gonna throw up if I eat anything right now,” Alex said, pushing the apple away again. And it wasn’t a lie, either.

John sighed in defeat. “Fine. But as soon as we get home, you are eating something.”

Alex rolled his eyes fondly and took John’s hand. “Yes, dear.”

The rest of the day was spent counting down until, finally, it was time for Italian. And then he had to wait through the three slowest presenters before he could go, which took nearly an hour, even though each presentation wasn’t supposed to last longer than 10 minutes.

When Alex _finally_ got up to the front, he was only two lines in before he started feeling woozy and his vision started going black and fuzzy around the edges.

And then he fainted.

* * *

 

In the ER waiting, John was bouncing his leg, heart and mind both racing. Eliza was next to him with a hand on his back and a worried expression on his face. Washington was on John’s other side with Martha next to him.

Everyone else was still in school. They didn’t know what happened yet.

_Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay,_ John repeated over and over again in his head, leg still bouncing.

It stopped as soon as the doctor came out.

Washington stood immediately and asked, “Is he okay?”

The doctor lifted her clipboard a little higher and said, “He should be fine in a few hours. He is asleep at the moment, but I can let you in to visit as soon as he wakes up. The cause of the fainting seems to be a combination of many things, from what he has said. Namely a lack of both sleep and food over the last couple of days. And a chest binder that has not been removed in about three days.

“I had him take it off before he went back to sleep, don’t worry,” she said at the look on Washington’s face. “I do need to speak with you about medical history though. If you could follow me?”

“Yes. And my wife as well,” Washington said.

“Yes, of course. This way.” The doctor led the two of them over to the front desk to explain some paperwork for them to fill out.

John let out a huge sigh of relief and looked over to Eliza with  small smile.

“He’s gonna be okay!” Eliza said, grinning, cheeks dimpling.

“Yeah,” John agreed, laughing a little bit. “We’re gonna see him in a few hours.”

“I know!”

John barely had time to even try to stop it before he was bawling into Eliza’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, I know, it’s been stressful,” Eliza cooed into John’s ear, petting his hair.

“I’m just- I’m _so glad_ that he’s okay,” John said between sobs.

“I know. I am too. Hey. Hey, John.” John looked up at Eliza’s face, and he put his hands on John’s cheeks. “It’s okay. He’s okay. Okay?”

John nodded, Eliza’s hands still on his cheeks, and tried to control his tears. Once he was mostly composed, he wrapped his arms around Eliza’s shoulders and squeezed him tight.

“I love you,” he whispered, just loud enough for Eliza to hear.

He felt him stiffen for a second before pulling back beaming. “I love you too!” Eliza said, and his smile was so wide that the smiley face sticker was about to fall off. John smiled gently and pushed it back onto Eliza’s face before bringing him into a gentle kiss.

* * *

 

It took longer than either John or Eliza had thought for Alex to wake up. Both of them were falling asleep on each other by the time the doctor (a different one this time; John assumed the other doctor had gotten off her shift) came out to let them all know that Alex was awake.

“There’s only enough room for two visitors at a time,” he said. George and Martha went first, and Martha made sure to bring the thermos full of soup that she had gone home to get a few hours earlier.

John and Eliza only had to wait about 15 minutes for them to come back out into the waiting room before it was their turn to follow the doctor back to Alex’s room.

When they got there, Alex was propped up by both the bed and several pillows, eating Martha’s chicken noodle.

He looked up at the noise and his face brightened as he put the spoon down. “Hey! I was hoping you guys would be here. George and Martha wouldn’t tell me.”

“Pick that spoon back up mister,” Eliza said, hands on his hips and trying (failing) to look mad.

“Okay, okay. I’m eating, see?” Alex said, making a show of putting a large spoonful of soup into his mouth.

Eliza and John both laughed at that as they sat in the chairs by the bed. Eliza leaned forward and gave Alex a kiss on the cheek, even as he was chewing.

“So what’s up?” Alex asked after he’d finished swallowing.

“Don’t say ‘what’s up’ as if nothing happened,” John said. “We were seriously worried about you.”

Alex sighed. “Y’know, George and Martha had the same reaction. I don’t see what the big deal is, really.”

“Seriously? If you’d kept all that up Alex, you could’ve died. _Died_. As in, no longer alive,” Eliza said.

“I guess that’s true,” Alex said, taking another spoonful of soup. “This is really good soup.”

John sighed. “Look, maybe it doesn’t matter to you if you live or die, but it matters to _us_. To the people who love you. And not just us, but your friends too. We care about you Alex.”

Alex was quiet for a moment as he chewed. Then he swallowed and said, in a small voice, quite uncharacteristic of him, “Oh. I- I didn’t think… I didn’t think. I guess that’s the closest thing I have to an excuse, isn’t it?”

“You know, for someone who’s so smart, you really can be an idiot sometimes,” Eliza said, exaggeratedly rolling his eyes.

Alex smiled softly. “But seriously Alex,” John said. “Don’t scare us like that. We love you. _I_ love you. And I don’t want you getting hurt.”

Alex’s eyes went wide. “You love me?”

John smiled. “Yeah. I love you. I love both of you,” he added, turning a little to Eliza.

Alex narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You’re not just saying that because I’m in a hospital bed, are you?”

“So what if I am?” John asked defensively, jutting out his jaw. “Doesn’t make it any less true.”

“Alright then,” Alex said, shrugging. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it! Thank you all so much to everyone who's read this and who will read this in the future. I know the updating schedule was horrible, but It's finally done! Um, i'm not really any good at sappy stuff, so I guess, just once again, thank you all so so much and happy new year! I look forward to writing more stories this year, and hopefully I won't take forever to get them out (although I can't guarantee anything). Feel free to hmu on tumblr @ [hckin-nerd](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/hckin-nerd) or, if you like voltron, follow my voltron sideblog, [space-nigel-thornberry](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/space-nigel-thornberry)! Hope to see you guys in the future with more stories!


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